We are getting there...day by day!

My dad forwards an email...

and he writes:

*********************************************************

Hi Sze wen,

I am heading towards this by and by.

dad

With this in mind, I bought myself a new scooter. I wanted something that was easy on gas and could zip me to the store and about town. This seems to meet my EVERY need. I love it!

You know sometimes when you get caught up with your own life here and friends around you, and then you get caught up with issues that your friends have and then to top that off, you have things going on in your head as well.

And then, you talk to someone in your family overseas or not, whom you sometimes neglect, and you realise that your family has issues too and you have been neglecting them. And then you receive a phone call from your brother too, whose call you missed a few times and then you think, must be something ...when would he call you mobile-to-mobile 3 times in a row from overseas? Actually, you start to think...he's calling me? He hardly, IF EVER, calls me. Especially after since he got that crazy job where he works 7 days a week most of the time. And then you finally manage to pick up his call and then he tells you what is on his mind because he needs to talk about it. And finally, after 1 1/2 years, he finally tells what he truly feels and how he's actually been going - all work related when during those years, he totally didn't have time for you even when you went home. And then you end up talking for 38 minutes. When you know, the last time he actually took the effort to do so was when you left him all alone temporarily in this foreign country and he wrote you this incredibly long email. First and only time in history so far. So you know that he actually has a lot of thoughts going on his head...especially at this time of hard decisions..

I kinda miss my family in a way...my sister was going to tell me something yday regarding something but will wait for another day...my other brother supposedly took "emergency leave" today from his current job to go for this job interview..i hope it went okay. He said he would speak to me online. And my mum is at the moment, busy preparing a write-up for this toastmasters meeting she has on tonight, so coudln't chat to her now.

Talking to others definitely makes me less self-absorbed. I don't think I could stand living away from people in the country-side in a big expanse of land all by myself or with just one other person. Or wherever else. And just living every day just to survive in this hostile world, facing everything as if that's just how it is and that's the end. blah blah....

Nostalgic coincidence

I was just talking to my sister...and as we were talking about Lady, I just remembered something about her. I think all 4 of us (my brothers and sister) were in the car on the main road near our house caught in the traffic. And then I noticed this small little white dog scurrying across the road IN FRONT of our car...and then I realised it was OUR DOG!!! Lady had somehow ran out of the house, most probably when someone opened the gate. And at that time, she was old with cataract problems. I can't remember the speed of her movements but she was definitely weak physically already. But I remember how we got out of the car immediately and grabbed her and put her in the car and drove off. All in the middle of traffic.

Talk about amazing coincidences. If we were too late and too early or just on the wrong road...she would have been lost forever. We were just shell-shocked how she managed to travel all the way there, across 2 big roads without getting herself killed.

My dog has died

yea, so my dad rang me last night and he asked me at the end if I knew that Lady was put to sleep a few days ago. No one told me about it yet so I was pretty shocked. But to be honest, even though i feel shocked, i don't feel sad. My dad said she has arthritis, and my sister has been feeding her for the past month. She is in constant pain and she's pretty old. I hope she had an easy death - my dad and sister took her to the vet and she slowly went to eternal sleep.

She was buried somewhere outside our house.

Death..inevitable ....sad..meaningless how life can be put out by death..and if that is the end..

Unexpectations

I should have gone home but decided to walk towards the crowd. A poster on the door caught my eye and I went to read it. There was an event going on inside. Was I allowed to go in? 2 girls walked out and I made up my mind to check it out and no one stopped me as I took a seat. It was a talk by a very charismatic speaker to a large crowd. He delivered his stories in such a captivating way. Funny too. His talk appealed to the masses but the content was so incredibly shallow, I felt disappointed. Sickened maybe. Sad for the twisted truth. Yet knowing that I shouldn't be judgemental as I'm sure he was pretty sincere. Stayed till it was over and I don't know why but the VERY LOUD constant beat of the music at the end of the event was ringing in my chest. I had to clutch myself. Don't know if I'm getting old or what.

What a surprising unexpectation it was when I noticed a friend sitting on the same row whom I had just bumped into a couple of weeks ago. We ended up chatting for an hour or so outside in the cold about the whole thing. About life and what's been happening or happened. It was pretty deep but just really encouraging. Made me think through stuff. We are so complex; thoughts that run through our mind, our experiences and just who we are. Just one person can teach us so much.

My workmate inspired me to dream dreams today. How much our team can do to help our company achieve "world domination" hahah...something a uni friend liked to say. He has been going on about these ideas in his head and again suggested them as I sales-pitched a few drinks I had made up to a few of my workmates. Anyway, my point is, it made work seem really exciting and fun- so much to discover and explore...! Flower power!

Tell the old old story..

Psalm 78:2-4 tells us to tell things that we have heard which our fathers told us to our children, things about the glorious deeds of God and his might and the wonders which he has done.

My auntie and I got talking about something similar. Not about God. But about our family history, in particular, her parents (my maternal grandparents) and the rest of our Hakka clan. It was really interesting - brings life to people of old whom you don't even think of. Reminds me of this novel i remember reading about the lives from generation to generation who lived in this house called China Court in England, but just not as detailed. Things like how my grandfather was sent to live with his uncle in Malaysia when he was young because he was quite sickly. Life for his mum was sad...a domineering mother-in-law, her husband died (not sure when) and her daughter died in her adult years. But the thing is, my grandfather never forgot his mother and looked out for her when she was living all by herself in her later years, paid for things, brought her out when he brought the kids out to some kinda event but then he got really sick again and his uncle (foster father) had to tell him to stop spending time with his mum for the sake of his health. Superstitions, u know.

Anyway, made me look at my grandfather a little differently. He's still alive, btw.
My auntie told me other family stories as well. Really interesting stuff.

Wish we had a family tree.

Finally a breather today - it's nice when I can just come home after work and not have to go out again and be able to talk to my auntie a bit.

Have you ever been invited to someone's place and unfortunately, one family member is a bit cranky? Not at you but it's still a bit uncomfortable because you're not sure what to do or say but maybe walk around the house and look at photos displayed. I think I understand somewhat why she was cranky and I know a bit about her past. But it was nice to have dinner there when all I expected was just to have afternoon tea! Really kind. And I learned a bit about being a fisherman on a real big boat. So he worked on a big boat off the coast of Darwin - and there are only 5 of them, so they all have to fish, or cook and they all learned Advanced First Aid and I think they all know how to navigate the ship. Do you know that sea navigation is so different? Reading a map of the sea must be so complex - because it's not fixed like driving on the roads. Because of the change of the world's axis due to the magnetic pole and all that, one spot is different the next time. And people now actually still navigate by the stars. That was incredibly fascinating! "Pirates" are still around - but I think not like what we usually imagine.

I went to watch a rugby match last Saturday with my very senior friend, Argyle - I'm not into rugby but it was nice of him to let me come with the tickets he got off his very rich brother! I think what I will remember is this 22-yr old guy beside me who suddenly got up and started telling off these 13-yr old boys behind him. Really telling them off - but i just kept my eyes fixed on the rugby. Apparently, one of them was really rude to his girl friend...and if you're wondering how I know their ages, it's coz it was mentioned in the loud scolding.

Work for the past 3 days has been okay! But i've been so tired/sleepy at times - continuous late nights/early morning starts are not good for me. Shocking news of the week - someone got fired. My company "decided to terminate her contract effective immediately". It was shocking for me, and my friend asks "why are u so shocked?" ...I just am. I don't expect people to get fired! Even though i know their department has been having problems after problems, which is affecting our business...It's just sad when someone gets fired. Monday i saw her at her desk, and Tuesday morning, I come into work and see the email.

My dad emailed me a couple of days ago too - put a smile in my heart and on my face. it's amazing my dad typed that long an email!! Computers isn't his forté and before he retired, he had a secretary and we were his "secretaries" at home. What to do..when all the children are busy. But the good news he wanted to tell me was that my sister has FINALLLLY been accepted into Air Asia!! wooohooo! She'll have to undergo 2-3 months training or something...not really sure the details. I'm really happy for her because it's such a big achievement for her - and she's been just sitting at home and applying for jobs for a very long time - loooking for a job can be pretty depressing. And her salary looks pretty good. My dad can at least rest easy now.. My dad was also talking to me on the phone last week or so after he came back from his trip to Thailand (some biking trip with his Harley mates). He himself actually hired a motorbike there and went riding around some island by himself and he says next time when I come back, we should go there. It's a really nice place and he's made some friends. Yeah, I'd love to! but i haven't any idea when to return home exactly - but it's usually end of the year or start of next year.

Anyway, i'll write another time - getting a bit lazy to blog...
Michelle my cousin, my faithful fan, have you spoken to my mum about when you and Nick are arriving in KL?

April 22

I now know 3 people who share April 22 as their birthday. Alison who is my college friend and my age. My niece (rather, cousin's daughter) who is one year old now - and my auntie is up there in the Sunshine Coast visiting her daughter & granddaughter now so I am all by myself till Saturday.

Also, yesterday, I am SO GLAD that I picked up the phone and called my friend, Vibeke (after not seeing her since Jan 2007). I had heard that she was pregnant and was due soon and I still hadn't called her till yesterday. So, I asked her when she was due and she told me she had given birth that morning!! I was like...what?? thank GOD I called her. So today in the evening, I went to pay her a visit. I even forgot the name of her husband that Vibeke asked if I had met Mark before. And I was like, of course! I've met him heaps of times!!! ....... I won't forget his name from now on... =P

and if my friend hadn't given birth 2 weeks early like she has, she might have bumped into my auntie, who works in that ward.

Their baby is so small and cute - baby boy, no name yet. He was so small. If he had been 23 g lighter or something, he would have had to undergo lots of tests. And Vibeke just underwent 2 hours of labour. She was in at about 9 am and it was over by about 12 pm.

Now to break this joyous news to my Foodie friends who know her tomorrow...mass email at work.

Thank God for this lovely weekend filled with many fruitful conversations. I feel the drag of going to work again tomorrow...sometimes (actually, these days it's been more than sometimes), I get into this "such work is so meaningless" kinda mood. I know I should change my attitude and really see the wonder in the work that I do because it is so interesting. Just imagine being in an ice-cream bar, let's say Gelatissimo and how technology is able to create different flavoured ice-creams NOT using the real thing. And I have in my hands, even more more more flavours i could try to put in the ice cream. Walnut, turkish delight, jaffa, nougat, chestnut (we have the best roasted chestnut flavour!! reminds me of roasted chestnuts from the markets, it is awesome!!), red bean, green bean, wasabi, etc..
But my job doesn't just involve me squirting flavours into the ice cream, we actually have to make the ice-cream (if i'm doing ice cream).

Yeah psyched myself up a bit. :)

But speaking to one of my old college friends about work and life on Saturday morning really made me feel what a messed up society we live in. She was the friend whom I was talking about a few posts ago who at the job she just resigned from, had a terrible working environment - sexual harassment and politics and all that. And just the nature of the working world, the manipulation and competitiveness to survive, to move higher. People who want you to "die". Jobs are never secure as she told me about a research person at uni who had been working there for so long and should have gotten a promotion but was made to leave by subtle devious means. I've never personally experienced such things but the weight of what she was saying seemed even more real to me then. She said what can we do but to just accept it, that's the way it is.

I thank God I don't have a job like hers where the days are just work, eat, sleep and weekends is for more sleep and cleaning the house/grocery shopping. A job that sucks life out of you.

What is wrong with this world? it's such a meaningless state pursuing meaningless things in life. Working for to pay the mortgage is a common thing to hear. Reality of life, or is it. I think my cousin is "drowning" in that now.

Anyway, what do I know.

I really enjoyed the time I could spend with my friend. We walked down to my old place and collected the bicycle that I had left there about 4-5 months ago. Thank goodness it was still relatively okay. And it was still there, I had been checking whenever I drove past that place. Just had to pump the tyres with some air (2 guys helped us while we were at the petrol station which was really kind since i couldn't get one tyre to pump up - acts of kindness, u know) and my friend says that I just need to oil the brakes and all that, but that's about it.

Today I actually had a lovely chat with my workmate/unimate at lunch time. She is such a happy-go-lucky person who can basically talk with anyone, she reminds me kinda of Missy Higgins. She was telling me stories about her good friends from high school who play in this band, relationships/friendships gone wrong, housemates and we were also talking about other things.

I find it really amazing how we can all have different lives with different thoughts and interests. It's reminds me not to get stuck in my own life, people who are just like me culturally or in the way I view things (eg. my sense of what's expensive) or thinking, because God views everyone's life worthy and we all have a life history different from everyone else's which makes it interesting, no matter how boring one might deem his/her life to have been.

The complexities of our life. The emotions and thoughts that run through every day and change at each passing phase. The unexpected things that happened and will happen. The gazillion things every day that we can thank God for.

Life. My life, your life. It's all poetry in motion.

new car

My dad decided for my brother to buy a new car - and now we are going to get another Suzuki Swift. He sold our old Proton Wira, which he jokingly said "has taken a bashing from all of us" - a statement which i disagree! Although i did nearly close our automatic gate on it ACCIDENTALLY while my mum was driving it out of the house....not that he knows about it haha..

Apparently, the car is silver in colour, so not like the dark grey colour i have (which according to someone I know who "kindly" mentioned to me that it's the WORST colour to have in terms of safety....oh well, i guess if I have to die in my favourite car colour, i chose my own death by going for looks). We've had many many different cars over the years because my dad just loves buying and then selling them but unfortunately, I don't think any of us are into cars/bikes like he is. Cars ....they're just vanity under the sun...

Anyway yesterday when my dad rang me, I got told to email and call home more often, which I'm guilty of not doing. I talked to my sis just now for a bit but I will email them tonight...after my shower

ta ta

Amazing people

Today I had the opportunity to meet such an amazing old man. 92 years old with such a great heart.

Not just any friendly, loving heart but a heart for God. A mind that is still alert, God-fearing and caring and loving to others.

92 years old...and drives relatively far distances.

Amazing

I wanna be like that.

I really need some discipline. Leave me by myself and my mind will just wander and not focus. There are things I need to do and I haven't done them. Things I need to do tomorrow, and i am not fully prepared...I'm trying to do it now but i'm not focusing, instead i'm surfing the net, typing here and at the moment, I'm also chatting to my brother (younger one).

Talking to my brother isn't a waste of time - haven't spoken to him in awhile so it's nice to know what he's been up to recently. He's in a bit of a chatty mood too and telling me about some volunteer thing he wished he didn't get himself involved in. He's full of unfulfilled dreams, this boy....my mum reckons he's the most eloquent of us all, maybe he should get out of the line he doesn't want to be in and be a lawyer.

Ok it's really late now and I have to get back to what I have to do. I feel kinda tired, i think i haven't recovered sleep from the long easter weekend and the week before that too. Today I slept in but i still feel not recharged.

Work was okay..i feel so slow. Friday was my boss's birthday and we surprised her with flowers, a "supermum" shirt, and a card. She's pregnant, u see. Next week i think i'll be faster, especially since there are deadlines. Anyway my work is quite interesting, been working on some "healthier" soft drinks and the flavour combinations that i've been trying aren't too bad i must say. There're 4 concepts: beauty, vitality, weight management & prevention and control. Now, according to our marketing presentation, beauty isn't just on the exterior, but it comes from the inside. Yes,doesn't it? But no, that's not what it means...beauty comes from the inside physically. These flavoured drinks (eg. guava + grapefruit with functional ingredients) purifies and cleanses you from the inside so that you achieve the beauty you desire.

My workmate and I were having a laugh over it as I was talking about it...it's really funny I think.

Ok i think i should leave now and go do the work I need to do....

good night

Different people
Different priorities in life
Different ways of talking
see where we are now from whence we first met! it's been years, hasn't it?
Sometimes their jokes just go way past my head
Or perhaps I'm just slow, which is usually the case
or perhaps i'm tired of using my brain to pay attention
not enough sleep i think

But no matter how different, fundamentally we're still the same
wanting the same things
love, peace and happiness
kindness, friendliness,respect
care and concern for one another
We're different but differences know no boundaries
it just takes friendliness
and other person centredness
humility to be at their level
with honesty and sincerity
and laughter that gives you a tummy ache
it loosens the boundaries
lightens the air
until hopefully shallow becomes deep
and forms a bond
no matter where we are and when we meet again.

Church camp was great!

1st day back after a long weekend is usually such a drag...and even more so after an awesome church camp. If I had urgent work to do today, there would have been less time to daydream. Especially since I was sitting in front of the computer 3/4 of the time...usually makes me sleepy. But I did do work..., prepared myself (not completely) for the task tomorrow!

Work...I remember telling people I prefer working to studying. I still think I do (it's just more applicable and I learn faster than just studying and studying without much practical work & $$ comes in) but this work is definitely not what i want to do in say...3-4 years. Maybe I'll go back to Malaysia and do something else. And every time I look at a marketing or sales presentation, I just feel how manipulative and meaningless the words are...

I had some interesting conversations with one of my colleagues last week because I had to be in the same savoury lab as him working on some rice cakes. Working in that kinda environment again after a long time has made my chest phlegmy...and it still hasn't gone away because of all the powders that I have been inhaling no doubt. Anyway, he's an easy-going humble and hardworking former chef with a 6-month old baby girl and we got talking about different things from what we've been learning at church to funny things about how many "hearty beef" soups he had to make that he's never going to drink soup again to Christian beliefs and so on. It's great to just have a "like-minded" friend at work and I'm just thankful that our small team gets along pretty well and we try to help each other as much as we can.

Someone I know studied a 2nd degree for a year and went back to work again because he much prefers working and he feels that he's at this stage of his life that he should be working. I think I'm at the stage of my life where I should be working too because there's just so many other people to meet and interact with outside our usual circle. So many types of people, different ways of thinking whether they be white or yellow or black or brown. It's where you see the realities of the world more vividly..

my sister is turning 21 soon

I just received a long email from my sister telling me what's been happening in her training thing at Air Asia. She is so funnny...She says, 5 days into her training haven't been so good, so many problems already and classes haven't even started yet! And she listed Prob 1, 2, 3, 4a & b and 5.

"I can even notice it on the first day...put a goat also can notice it. "

"Prob 4b: They espect us to learn and understand everything about the aircraft and procedures in 5 days!! How can!!....they should use their brain and think that no human can do that...some more we just from a small plane transitioning to a big one."

isn't she funny, my sister?

One of our dogs, Lady is dying....her eyesight is nearly gone, her hind legs are bad, she cries in the night. My mum and my brother think she shouldn't be made to suffer anymore and should be put to rest. And my sister wants my opinion. One of our dogs was put to sleep before as he was just rotting away and nearly dying, it was so sad. I couldn't stand any of our dogs being put to sleep before, but maybe it would be good coz she wouldn't have to suffer anymore. I think if I were to see it, I'd feel really awful to see her taking her final breath. But if they put her to sleep now, it would mean i wouldn't be able to see her when I get back!!! can they wait? can she sustain her life long enough till I get back?

For computer game enthusiasts, check out this new game!

My cousin, Michelle is raving on about this new computer game - which is the first game for this small Brisbane based company called '3 Blokes'.

A computer game which her boyfriend, Nic has been working on for the last 6 months. If you go to this website (below), you can download the game for an hour of free play (to see what the game is about), or buy the game:

http://www.iwin.com/download/1736269005757512485/magical-forest-game;jsessionid=abkmzavdApnd

Nic did all the artwork for the game. Her good friend Clay did the music (which you can hear when you download the trial). The creators and game developers are also her good friends Marko and Duncan who have been working on this for quite a long time.

Below is a link to an editorial article on the game. http://www.gamezebo.com/previews/magical_forest_preview.html

She will much appreciate it very very much if you can check out the game!!

one-year anniversary

...of what huh? not what u're thinking! =P

As today, I've been working at my current company for exactly one year. Gosh, how fast time flies.

We had an off-site meeting over a week ago at this really lovely place near Mosman, near the zoo overlooking the water and the side of Sydney where I live. I just thought it was a lovely place to go other than the usual places to go. There was a set walk along the coast and there were these mini beach areas in bushland looking area. The lovely thing about sydney is to find such pretty tranquil areas even in a metropolitan city like sydney.

At the off-site meeting, we had team-building stuff and discussed ideas on how to improve the business with key clients and amongst our own team. A lot of positive outlooking of things, self-improvement and focusing on success. I guess this is all really important in a way...but mainly for the ultimate sake of the business. But I'm glad my work environment is pretty good because people are trying to put positive attitude and other related things into their work ethic. Some people I talk to ask me how's work, and sometimes they mean, "is work environment good?" or whether the company treats us like crap or not. I was just pretty shocked recently to find out the work conditions of one of my friends who used to work in a pharmaceutical company in the lab. Finally, i heard her express her difficult work environment with a strange divorced boss who has had affairs within the company and has "stalked" her and other colleagues who behave unlike adults. Or work environments where foul language is used so commonly.

For now, I'm thankful for my job....It's just a job, but it's important to still keep learning and improving in what I'm doing. And getting to know my team members more - helping each other and getting to know them more. It's fun, interesting and we learn so much from each other.

would you strip naked for charity?

Uhmm..why do we have to?

I flipped open this month's Australian CLEO magazine on the sofa, and the middle pages were glamorous black and white photo shots of 6 celebrities nude (almost nude - their private bits covered by their hair, or the chair, or coz they're sitting cross-legged). Each celebrity had to tell of a charity they wanted to support.
So, what we readers have to do, is to log on to Ebay and bid for/buy the photos and all the proceeds will go to the charity organisation of whichever celebrity's photo you buy.

I think this is the dumbest thing to do - both the getting naked bit and the fact that we would buy the photo. Ulterior motives, self-glorification....the charity organisation seems like a place way behind our ultimate goal. Seems more like a need to feel good/happy thing to do tagged onto charity (Which is good in people's eyes) and whatever we can do to support the charity in any way must be good (even getting naked and posing sexily) because it's helping the organisation.

enough said..

Pleasant surprises

Today, received a pleasant surprise call from one of my ex-workmates - One of my funny friends whom I could get along pretty well with, laughing and picking on each other before and even now even though we haven't spoken in awhile. And then, an email message popped up from another ex-workmate asking how i was doing and telling me what she had been up to. It was nice :) I replied back straight away.

At the moment, i'm just chatting to a uni friend on MSN who suddenly seems to have a lot of time to chat, even went into a talk about God for the first time.

It's great to catch up with friends! :)

Anyway, i've gotta pack my bags soon - going away for the weekend with the graduates/workers from church tomorrow after work!

Life is so fragile

We never know when our life here on earth will be taken away, or people we know, or don't know. Famous people dying, Suharto is dead, I attended a funeral of a friend who is turning 25 last Friday with a few others, I was just reading of the sad passing of a 20 yr old medical student whom some of my friends know....people are dying everyday anywhere.

Only God knows how much time we have left here on earth. What am I to do then with my time here?

What crosses my mind is this. What is more important? or rather who? and if i think they are more important, i need to do it now. Make time. Do it within the week. Don't procrastinate. Time does not wait.

Back in Sydney

and back to work... :(

Back since Tuesday and to work on Wednesday. And the next day, my workmate went on leave and she still is for another week. So, lots of work to do. This year, I hope to develop more confidence in what i'm doing as I become more familiar with stuff and hopefully to develop more passion in flavours, which is our core business. FOOD FLAVOURS. As I honestly assess myself, sometimes i feel how meaningless the work I'm doing is. We're seriously not contributing to society - just wanting society to buy more and more of stuff they don't need. And with my who-cares attitude to what I eat, analysing food flavours is something i've had to work on. Anyway, all this negative attitude has to be thrown out the window. Realistic opinions i should keep to myself and learn the positive side and joy of working in this area I have gotten myself into.

Time on the plane back to Sydney was a good time of reflection until I decided to go to sleep like everyone else. Sometimes when all is quiet and especially when there is no form of entertainment on the budget airplane to distract, do we not all sit back and reminisce about the time that passed so quickly. I started a prayer diary, following after a friend, which I thought was a great idea. Malaysia is my home, i'll definitely come back for good. My family is there, and though sometimes, i feel like running away for good far far away coz i just can't stand some things or agree with stuff, I know my parents love me and they feel sad that i've left once again. Our maid, Fe said bye and we hugged and had to control myself after seeing her emotions nearly come lose. My father raised his arm high to say bye at the airport as I turned back to look at them all after going through my passport check. And my mother, she wants to spend more and more time with me.

Anyway, some photos during my break with family:

Firstly, in Brisbane and the Sunshine Coast....Thanks for putting up with me, cousins. I really had a nice time and it was just nice to spend time with you all. I wish all of us were in one place with Ah Poh & Ah Kong and all the aunties and uncles. Everyone basically.

Merry Christmas!

yum cha on my last day

I found this picture at my aunt's place. Wow. - and i think we have the same photo at home. And that was taken so long ago in my house and it looks just the same now. We should place the same people in the same spot and take another photo.

Back in Malaysia:

Cousins of the younger generation. They can all walk now... and talk so loudly.

And Michelle, the 2nd one can draw really well for her age, u should meet her when u're down in Msia and check her drawings out.

Sister & me - at a Japanese restaurant.

Dad & Ching Hwa ...what are they talking about?

I followed Ching Hwa to one of his work visits one day - it was interesting. Pretended to be someone from my brother's work, thank goodness didn't have to answer so many questions from the ppl we were visiting but whatever i had to answer, i tried to answer as neutral as possible, actually i think i told the truth the whole time in my answers. =P Hope my brother doesn't get into any trouble. But he said it was okay to come.

All 4 of us in my sis & my room. Had to get them to cooperate with me to take one photo...doesn't look like they're very cooperative, huh

At the airport to bid adieu once again.

And we saw Tony Fernandez ...Air Asia's CEO. He was shaking people's hands and asking them how they're doing and stuff.

A brand new year. A whole new beginning - have you made your new year resolutions yet?

Leaving for Brisbane tomorrow evening

It's weird. I was really looking forward to going on holiday (ie. leaving Sydney)...but now, at this moment (Whereby tomorrow i'm leaving for Brisbane), I wish I had more time in Sydney. It's just that i have so much "stuff" to do - if only i was more organised and disciplined- and these people start coming into my life, or existing ppl, and i wish i could spend more time with them over the summer.

Complains complains..haha..

Simple roast dinner & pawpaw salad with my aunty this evening which she cooked.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Don't let the sun go down on your anger..

Anger is a terrible thing. I wish one day, I would not get so upset about things that are really no big deal, in the end....coz it really doesn't matter, does it?

This time, i'm really fuming over being EXCESSIVELY charged for a fused light bulb in my unit by my former real estate agent due to an electrician being called. I was really mad, i even spoke to someone at NSW Fair Trading. My aunt helped to dictate an email I'm going to send out to the agent, I'm kinda half way writing it. I would seriously rather spend that money on buying stuff for people or just donating it to worthwhile stuff.

sighhhhhhh....
anger reallly brings out the evil in me

I guess to some people, they'd just pay it, who cares....But i care. I don't spend money like water, and Weihseun knows it, she thinks i hold on to my money too tight, and my dad thinks so too. But you'd be glad to know that i've changed...honest! but of course i'm still not that "loose" with it. So, besides having to pay that and a parking fine a month ago, this was really getting on my nerves.

Ahhh... i really don't want to sound negative and whinging, but i'm sorry, just in a whinging mood now.

On a happy note, my mum called me just now. She reminded me to call Argyle, the nice old man and wish him a merry christmas. For his age, he is so jovial and happy about life, not complaining, doesn't focus on his health problems or anything, and so helpful and concerned for other people. I want to be like that and not bitter and angry with life, and worse still, to grow into a grumply old bitter woman. Have you ever seen people like that? I saw that sometimes when I used to work at the supermarket. It's kinda shocking when senior people start complaining and cursing. But old people who are smiling, polite and who are interested to ask about you - they're a joy to be around. To be truly joyful and feel blessed by anything that God puts in our pathway - people like that are amazing. Becky, an amazing lovely sister in Christ, sent out an email today to tell us she's back from the Philippines where she was doing part of her PhD research for a month. She is like that, just one of a kind. Her love for God and people is just so vividly expressed in every aspect of her being.

Anyway, I had more thoughts about other things...but another day.
Continuing on with my letter....

I hate conflicts

A good day had to end with such a sour note - seriously spoiled my whole day. Bad thoughts went through my mind on how I should have told her off then in front of everyone and what words I would have used. If my siblings were around, I'd share with them my grievances and they would have surely been on my side. This is the 2nd time I'm facing such treatment from her for what i've supposedly done or not done, and the hurtful thing is her ignoring me, even my simple question on what movie she watched today and shirking away from me like I'm some kinda disease.

A few years ago, we had a big argument session. Today I just left it after a few words to clarify my stance but that was that. I just ignored her for the next 10 minutes until I had to leave. I totally didn't feel like talking anymore to anyone, in the car or back at the house - it was hurtful and i was seriously getting really pissed off.

I've been reading this book and i actually just read this part earlier today about conflict:

Absence of conflict in a relationship isn't necessarily a good sign and that two people are getting along. The reason they never fight is because they never really talked.

10 tips of communication that can help when experiencing conflict in a relationship:

1. Learn to express your feelings and frustrations honestly, but without accusing or attacking the other person.

2. Choose words, expressions and a tone of voice that are kind and gentle. Don't use speech that could easily offend or spark an argument.

3. Don't exaggerate, distort or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme words like never and always.

4. Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.

5. Commit yourself to seeking solutions instead of airing your grievances. Getting even isn't your goal - you want to get things resolved.

6. Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling, and needing. Try to detect his or her underlying concerns.

7. Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal , or argument. Though these emotions are normal, indulging them is sin.

8. Don't hesitate to acknowledge your own failure, and be quick to forgive the other person. Make sure you don't hold a grudge.

9. Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you both understand clearly what the other is saying and feeling. Encourage each other as you press toward a solution.

10. Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right thing at the right time in the right way for the right reasons.

"Our goal shouldn't be to avoid conflict, but to learn to work through it and resolve it in a way that honours God."

The book is about relationships but when i read that part again after I got home tonight, I know in my heart that when I had been thinking how i should tell her off, that i was wanting to accuse her and I wanted to get even and I was definitely indulging in anger and argument. My usual tendency is to avoid conflicts as best as I can, but when it happens, i tend to not really resolve it by proper communication and after awhile, not caring anymore and in the end, just ignoring and avoiding the person.

I think time to cool off is great and to think through a better approach and to ask for God's help to humbly and lovingly resolve it. Still a bit "heated" but much "cooler" now than before.

Oh, according to my previous post, I have been trying to read that book by Tozer. I did read it a bit but it's quite a difficult read (for me anyway) so I took a break by reading another book. I'm not leaving it completely behind...

"The Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer

Found this book among my aunt's possessions.

At the back, J.I Packer writes "Through all of Tozer's books and articles there shines a passion for God that puts our shallowness to shame, and reading him is like drinking at an oasis in the desert." Now, I think J.I. Packer is such a great writer and thinker, so not knowing what this book is really about, I just started reading more of what the back cover said and the foreword, preface etc.

From the preface he writes " Sound Bible exposition is an imperative must in the Church of the Living God. Without it no church can be a New Testament church in any strict meaning of that term. But exposition may be carried on in such a way as to leave the hearers devoid of any true spiritual nourishment whatever. For it is not mere words that nourish the soul, but God himself, and unless and until the hearers find God in personal experience they are not the better for having heard the truth. The Bible is not the end in itself but a means to bring men to an intimate and satisfying knowledge of God, that they may enter into Him, that they may delight in His presence, may taste and know the inner sweetness of the very God Himself in the core and center of their hearts."

I googled him up and the following is taken from Wikipedia:

"In 1950, Tozer was elected editor of the Alliance Weekly magazine, now called, Alliance Life, the official publication of the C&MA. From his first editorial, dated June 3, 1950, he wrote "It will cost something to walk slow in the parade of the ages, while excited men of time rush about confusing motion with progress. But it will pay in the long run and the true Christian is not much interested in anything short of that."

Living a simple and non-materialistic lifestyle, he and his wife, Ada Cecelia Pfautz, never owned a car, preferring bus and train travel. Even after becoming a well-known Christian author, Tozer signed away much of his royalties to those who were in need.

Prayer was of vital personal importance for Tozer. "His preaching as well as his writings were but extensions of his prayer life", comments his biographer, James L. Snyder in the book, In Pursuit of God: The Life Of A.W. Tozer. "He had the ability to make his listeners face themselves in the light of what God was saying to them", writes Snyder. "

Going to start reading this book now, looking forward to what Tozer has to say.

i'm really moving

and so i am moving out on thursday - have to take a day off from work. I was actually supposed to move out nov 27th (which is today) and wanted to ask for an extension, but couldn't get what i wanted coz i was too late. Anyway..

We managed to secure the place my aunt was aiming at and really wanted!

Ok, i will start packing tomorrow after work. I really had no time today.

let our speech be gracious, seasoned with salt

at this moment, my speech is playing on my mind. I think i've been like a "loose cannon ball" lately or actually, possibly my whole life (especially with my family I suppose, where I can let loose speech that expresses anger, annoyance or just totally meaningless speech which shows no care in the world - maybe this is okay for relaxation and laughing purposes). Maybe I can describe it as opinionated self-directed speech.

Anyway, something happened a few days ago which set my anger bells on. And I was talking to my lawyer-to-be friend about it. Have you ever watched legal tv shows of badgering lawyers who can make a witness cry? I really felt that and i was getting even angrier, practically matching his raised voice over the phone. But anger only was for that period. He was trying to shoot me down that i was in the wrong in his badgering tone (i know he doesn't mean it), but my arrogant self didn't want to accept it because I honestly didn't know it was wrong.

I was explaining my annoyance of something with someone today and again, i was kinda raising my voice to express it, as if it is such a huge problem. I still feel bad about talking like that, need to say sorry soon, even though I kinda know that my friend kinda knows how i'm like and not just this one aspect.

In terms of when i'm happy (especially giggling mood), i start using words that can be described as funny-rude. And as i think of something i just said today, i think i could have used another better word.

This is a great verse to always remind ourselves:
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that is may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29

"Lovely Complex"

I love this anime - it's my favourite!! =)

welll...it is the only anime i've ever really watched.

yes, i know, i don't look like the person who even watches anime and you are absolutely right. Never watched any of my brothers' downloaded anime or i wouldn't bother watching when my sister and brothers had it on on Astro (cable tv in malaysia). Thought they were boring - actually, i still do sort of. Never understood their fascination (or anyone else) for anime, and even things like computer games - thank goodness no one in my immediate family finds computer games fascinating.

Haven't finished watching it - 3 more episodes (24 in total and only 1 season). Been watching it bit by bit at my friend's place.

It's a very touching, funny story of a group of high school kids. The main characters are Otani (a very short boy 156 cm) and Koizumi (a very tall girl 172 cm) who are similar and have similar interests and are always fighting and arguing in the beginning but enjoy each other's company. Love story between both of them, basically. The way they interact is JUST SO FUNNNY....and also so touching. My friend can still cry after having watched it a few times.....

Kim Phuc

Today was my day off Sunday School, so took the opportunity to go visit Argyle's church as I had promised I would. Got my aunt to come along as well. It's an off-shoot of the church my current church was under, so the style is pretty much the same. But it's a family church whereas my church is a student church, and being a family church, the service was over in just over an hour...The sermon was very succint and to the point, easy to relate to but still faithfully taken out of a passage in context.

The pastor brought up this photo:



A famous photo of Kim Phúc from the Vietnam War which won the Pulitzer prize. The picture taken in 1972, shows her at about age nine running naked on the street after being severely burned on her back by a bomb attack.

"In 1996, she gave a speech at the United States Vietnam Veterans Memorial on Veterans Day. During the speech she said that we cannot change the past but can work for a peaceful future. After the speech, Reverend John Plummer, a Vietnam War Veteran, talked to some of his old friends and got them to ask Kim if she would like to meet him, for he stated that he was the one who ordered the bombing. She accepted and they met briefly and Kim forgave Plummer. " (Wikipedia)

Ethan Bortnick

Check out this awesome Jay Leno interview !!

6-year old piano genius - he's so cute and funny especially when he talks about his distaste for rock music, ie. Aerosmith. His ability to comprehend questions and answer them and his confidence in front of the camera is amazing.

His website: http://www.ethansmusicsite.com/

Cause to worry though about child "exploitation"...

what a dramatic day

it started from around lunch time. .didn't think it'd turn out like this!

Today I kinda felt like I'm going to move soon even though I haven't started any form of packing except collect a few boxes. My aunt had a more dramatic day because she was told she had to move out TOMORROW by 5 pm. After being given an extension till the 22nd (when she was given notice to move out by the 16th), they told her today that she had to move out tomorrow. Details aside, the real estate agent she has to deal with aren't that nice. And i'm not the only one who thinks so.

We went to see a couple of places after work, and we'll put in our application for one. The place we were aiming at, the current tenants aren't allowing it to be opened for inspection till they move out on the 21st, so basically, we still haven't confirmed a place yet.

But it's okay...my aunt was surprisingly calm throughout, even on the phone as she was telling me stuff. She's amazing but yes, what's the point of getting stressed anyway?

There are so so so many people looking for a place to rent now...it's crazzzzzyyyyy.....whyyyy, it's just the middle of november!!! last saturday, we went to see this unit on the 1st floor open for inspection, and there was a long long line down the stairs and out the front door.

I've got a whole heap of her stuff now at my place. I suddenly feel the burden of packing, especially taking into account the amount of crap i have. It looks okay but when the packing actually starts, it's going to seem like the boxes never enddd...

definitely not fun to move...but i am kinda looking forward to living in a new place with my aunt.

moving again sooon!

yes, that's right, i'm going to type out my letter to give notice to the real estate agent by tonight and email it out. I'm going to move in with my aunt just to Randwick (which is the next suburb). Been looking at a few places from the outside and inside and the key thing in our search was location. Next, not a crappy old place and not too expensive. We're aiming at this place which is still being occupied by current tenants. There's probably going to be an inspection of the unit this Saturday and my aunt told me to get ready some documents...we have to get that place! Coz she has to move out of her current place in 2 weeks.

Anyway, been living by myself for a year and close to 2 months now and it's been okay. Friends ask me, so do u feel lonely? And my answer is no...except early this year when i was not feeling too good. But just for a little while. But generally..if there's no friends, then i guess of course, one'll get lonely! It's like someone saying Sydney (or whatever place it is ) is so boring. There's nothing to do.

So many people to think about and so many things to do, so there's no time to dwell on loneliness. Friends to meet, new friends to make, family to see...
But anyway, no judging. Different people are different. Adaptation levels, attachment to the past or old good friends...many many factors.

So, back to topic.

I am moving soon! still doesn't feel like it coz i haven't done any packing at all except collect a box!

Anyway it'll be nice to live with someone again. A new step, not to step into blindly but being aware of changes to come, and working on other-person centredness.

another year

It's been one year already since my grandfather passed away (nov 2) and exactly one year when i first flew back to malaysia.

I remember that early morning and what I was doing then, and the days around that time. It's weird how much has changed since then. I wasn't sure what to expect at the start of the 25th year of my life but I had a small hope of things to be. But unfortunately, it didn't turn out the way I was thinking, not even a little. An initial terrible desire kindled into flames and stepped into without thinking but ending in a black mass of extreme disappointment.

It's not cancer, not about the fact that someone died. Everyone has their own personal depressive times. But I think God was really gracious in allowing such things to happen to me, like He had to take drastic action to pull me out of a fake paradise I stepped into according to my own limited foresight.

It hurt but this year has been full of new challenges and learnings. In church today, we were asked to think of a life-changing event. I would say this was a life-changing event for me.

Looking forward to this next year of my life :)

Argyle

Had dinner (actually, just hors-d'oeuves - however u spell it) this evening with a senior grandpa named Argyle. My mum met him a few times at her Rotary Club functions back in Malaysia a few months ago when he was there and told him about me and he rang me up a few times. I couldn't meet up with him before and forgot to ring him back. But he rang me up again last week (after he had a surgery....felt bad after he said that) and he feels bad if we don't meet up after he promised my mum he'll look me up. So he invited me to some restaurant website launch he was invited to.

Anyway, it was nice to finally meet him. He sure can talk on and on and on..=P And I try my best to understand what he's saying.

But what I want to say is that he is a really nice person with a big heart and most importantly, a heart for God. He told me more about himself and the way he sees and thinks about certain things and asked me questions about myself. He finds great joy in just helping people, he treats and talks to everyone the same, no matter who you are he'll take an interest in what u're interested in and not just want to do his own thing. etc etc When he said that, I was reminded of what the apostle Paul said (in the bible) : 1 Corinthians 10:25-33

It's interesting how we can just walk by someone and not think anything, or wonder what to talk about with someone new ....but not realising there's so much to find out about someone. So much that one has gone thru in life, no matter who u are. Not that it's so easy to just talk to everyone but God's love compels us to owe no one anything except to love one another (Romans 13:8a, personalised).

Some recent photos

With some of my uni mates @ Mel C's housewarming, Newtown.

She just moved out of her family home to live with 4 other random people already living in this house. Theme: Euro-trash ( she just went on a 1-month holiday in July to Europe, so I guess trying to relive her love for Europe)

Mel & her best friend, Jo...trying to be Euro trash.

As for me, no idea what to wear.That night, when I was driving home, saw an accident on the road. It was my first time seeing someone lying on the road unconscious. I'm not sure what happened but I hope he's still alive.

With Jason and 3 of the church kids.

i like this photo coz it's simple and casual! The more I see the kids every week, i just love them more and more, even though sometimes they don't want to behave. But children are such blessings from God. They're so small and "innocent" and have such simple minds. They listen to you when you are firm and all the more, if you are kind. Parenting is serious business, teaching our children is serious business. Every week is challenging in learning how to teach the kids God's Word, and working out what was good and could have been done better. The world will shape us here and there and twist us according to its wants, but God's TRUTH is never changing. I realise more how important God's truth is in our life first, letting it shape us, before we can even teach it to anyone. It's a journey of perseverance and endurance, toil and discipline - difficult but worth it. Keep telling ourselves that!

I love kids. I think I want 6 (hahah...i'm just joking ok)

Happy birthday to me and my cousin-in-law, Vignesh!

His bday's just a day before mine. My bible study group threw us a surprise - thanks guys :) I know he really appreciated it and so did my cousin (who's in Malaysia) !! I'm glad that he could come instead of spending his birthday by himself and meet my lovely bible study group family.

Bible Study Group Picture with Vig.

My little girls.

Me & the boys

Can't believe the year is ending. I'm like "mother" of the group (they call me that, can u believe it)but even then, I've learned so much from each and every one of them. They're all so special and different, with great stories to tell of their lives. Nothing is too small or unimportant. Even though our lives may diverge, I'm so glad that we're all part of the great one body in Christ and that we're in a journey together, forever.

The story of Joseph

I love this story!! --> Actually, it's not a story - it's a true historical account!!

Recently, we taught the kids at Sunday School the story about Joseph and how God was able to turn the bad things that happened to Joseph into good.

If you're unfamiliar with the story of Joseph (one of the great patriachs of the Old Testament - Genesis 37-50), let me give you a brief overview.
1) Joseph, being one of the 12 sons of Jacob and his favourite son, was despised by his brothers, who then planned on killing him, but in the end sold him to traders as a slave to Egypt. As a slave to Potiphar, an officer of the Pharaoh, Joseph found favour in his sight and was made the overseer of the house.
2) But Potiphar's wife started to lust after him. Joseph refused her advances and she lied to her husband about what happened, making Potiphar angry enough to throw Joseph in prison. However, in prison, God gave him favour in the sight of the prisonkeeper and was put in charge of all the prisoners.
3) Later on, God helped Joseph interprete dreams of two prisoners who worked with the Pharaoh. After 2 years in prison, he was asked to interprete the Pharaoh's dream, and the Pharaoh seeing how wise he was, made him the Governor of Egypt (2nd in charge after the Pharaoh). Because he was the governor, he was able to bring his family to Egypt during the dreadful time of the famine.

And so, God was with Joseph all this while....even though things seemed bad, God had a purpose for Joseph.

Anyway, why I find this story so fascinating is the depth of emotions in Joseph. As I was reading the passage, it hit me how much suffering Joseph went through. And how much he trusted God and truly forgave his brothers for what they had done to him because he could see that God had a purpose for it all.

"Gen 41: 51 Joseph named his firstborn Manasseh and said, "It is because God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father's household."

Joseph is already Governor and his brothers came to Egypt to seek grain, but was accused of being spies by Joseph, whom they didn't recognise.
"42: 22 Reuben replied, "Didn't I tell you not to sin against the boy? But you wouldn't listen! Now we must give an accounting for his blood." 23 They did not realize that Joseph could understand them, since he was using an interpreter. 24 He turned away from them and began to weep, but then came back and spoke to them again."

After his brothers brought back Benjamin as requested:
"42:29 As he looked about and saw his brother Benjamin, his own mother's son, he asked, "Is this your youngest brother, the one you told me about?" And he said, "God be gracious to you, my son." 30 Deeply moved at the sight of his brother, Joseph hurried out and looked for a place to weep. He went into his private room and wept there. 43: 31 After he had washed his face, he came out and, controlling himself, said, "Serve the food." "

He wept loudly again when he finally revealed himself to his brothers, after seeing that they had changed. He wept again on his father's shoulders when he sees him after so many years. And when his father died, Joseph fell on his father's face and wept over him.

I think the account of Joseph is so real, the emotional pain vividly expressed. It's such an amazing story. I think a film of the story would be equally as touching. The depth of his love for his father, his brothers after years of separation and pain.

Memories

~Memories of New College friends ~

I was just looking at all these digital photos that i recently managed to get off Newton and was just thinking about the time when he and Anne came all the way to Singapore to visit and then they and Guan came up to Malaysia for a short trip. Newtown was actually very very kind and printed out hard copies for us last year and where he's from (Shenzhen in China), they give very nice little photo holder album things. And I was looking at the dates - early Feb 2006! Time has definitely flown past so quickly. And much has happened and i'm still not yet the age of our big brother (and senile), Jere when I started at college 2002 and he was already there...hahaha...

By the way, Jimmy Choi, if you're reading this, I just wanted to say "happy belated birthday" and I hope that birds and China and wherever else you may go will continue to enrich your life in many many ways. Happy belated birthday 10/10 to Jere too (how can i ever forget his bday esp the time when we were all watching the FIFA world cup and the time was 10:10 and he exclaimed at that, trying to point something about it - i knew he meant his birthday straight away!). Anyway, he won't read this, but happppy happy 31st Jere!! I wonder if he's still senile =P

Thinking about Kailing, weihseun, Ruthie, Jodie, Joni, Kimmy, Sahil, Mahsa, Dilan, Alex Law etc etc...I cannot believe more than 5 years have gone past.

Newton, Guan, Kenneth, Pey Pey, Anne & me after having satay in Kajang, M'sia

funny advert on the MRT in Singapore

~ At Manly~

A photo of some of my workmates: Anita (work experience only and she's left us), Ivy, me & Leva about 3 weeks ago. We're having lunch at Manly beach as a farewell to Anita. I'm kinda immune to the name "manly" but i wonder why they even named it that in the first place. =P

It was really great to have Anita with us, she helped us so much and I really enjoyed our conversations. I wished she could have stayed longer!

People get fired, or just leave.

A couple of people got "fired" just in the last couple of weeks.

And it was one of the ladies upstairs' last day last Friday...before her 6-month maternity leave. Don't know if she'll come back, or extend her leave, but at least she knows the job is still waiting for her when she comes back. Not always the case though. She's been here close to 14 years too.

Anyway, felt really sad Friday close to the end of the day. My friend wondered why I was so, am i that close to her? - I don't know, change that involves a loss is sad , I even felt pricked and "shocked" when the KFC near my house was bulldozed to build a road, or when shops I'm so used to seeing close down or when my brothers just left me for 1 1/2 months on holiday. When it comes to people, I guess I'm really like my late grandfather.

However, back at work again on the first day of the week today and it was okay. Not sad anymore.

Challenge conference last weekend

A hint from Joni to update my blog haha...ok i'm finally doing it. Last weekend, we had a long weekend coz of Labour Day and I was just away at a Christian conference called Challenge conference.

With some of the girls just before our departure back to Sydney!


It was challenging as the name says. The talks were great and may I use this opportunity to commend anyone who reads here to listen to Phillip Jensen's talks. He is such a fantastic speaker. He is like a wise grandfather, witty and sharp and his humour is just impeccable. His talks are faithful and in context to what the Bible says and he just speaks in such a refreshing manner, recounting personal experiences and also drawing in issues from current and past events of the world.

check out:
http://afes.causeway-online.info/repository/afes-resource/NTE%20Index.html
http://www.cathedral.sydney.anglican.asn.au/pages/downloads-raquo/archive.php

However, ultimately, to exclude other speakers whom we think are not that "great" in comparison with Phillip Jensen would be a biased thing to do. It's not the speaker that matters but who the speaker is pointing the audience to --> Jesus and his gospel.

Another eventful thing that happened that weekend was that my car battery went flat at the time we were supposed to leave. Think my friend who parked my car forgot to switch the little headlight off and i didn't even notice later on. Oh well, i wasn't worried ...coz i knew there would be guys to help me hahah...what are they for anyway... =P just joking

I miss my ex-workmates

I really do.

I just spoke to 3 of them tonight, actually attempted to phone 3 more. Oh it was so good to talk to them, and laugh with them. One just had to say my name and i started laughing. Hearing his voice was just too funny. ANd Jenish , my dear Jenish, the married mother who now stays at home looking after her kids. Talking to her on the phone was like back to old times in the lab. Christine says the lab is now quiet without us.

It'll never be the same again. We're all in different areas now, doing different things, working or not working. I really loved working coz of them. The environment was fantastic PLUS i didn't have the stress of work responsibilities that came with it because I was not a permanent staff, just a casual everyday person. Job was quite carefree. I didn't have to control myself too much, and it was so easy to be myself.

Who we work with is just so important and I really feel it. But all that being said, wherever we go, we need to do our best to get to know people, befriend them, care for them, treat them like how God wants us to treat them. Do our best no matter the difficulty of circumstances unknown to others.

We're talking about meeting up next month. Hopefully it can be organised.

me own a car?

My carpooling friend has found a new job =(

Okay, I'm happy for her that FINALLY she has done what she's been wanting to do and I hope it'll be a great move for her. But at the same time, it'll be sad. No more friend in the morning and after work. It was really nice to get to know her better ever since I started working around this area 6 months ago. She lives near me and works near where I work, that's why I started going to work with her.
Oh well, so going to be driving everyday to work now. Not that I really mind even though it'll be nice to save cost too what with petrol and toll. I like driving and it's ONLY 19km one way!

Yenyi & I having lunch with other work friends (not in pic)

And here are a couple of photos of my car which I bought in May. I'll display them here since I just finally showed them to my family. Especially for those of you who want to know how my car looks like (I'm hinting u, weihseun hahah). Can't wait to sit in my car when i pick u frm the airport if u come visit next year huh? hahah...your bum is most welcome anytime... =P




It's quite a good car. My dad paid for it and recommended it. His friend who bought it says it's pretty stable and it's pretty popular in Malaysia, it seems but pretty expensive. But it's cheaper over here in Australia.I went from knowing ZILCH about cars to at least learning something. I still don't know how to open my bonnet or check for battery water... oh oh..Need to learn this.

It's been great having a car. The car has served me well as well as served a lot of other bums well hahah. I didn't want a car initially when my dad suggested it coz i saw no need for a car. After all, it was going to increase my expenses! I could very well take the bus to work. But yeah, As Jean put it, it's a "ministry car" - very well put, Jeano. Serving people.

Thank you car, thank you dad, thank you God.

Remembering & Forgiving

Last Sunday at church, Ivan commented on this picture that he had seen and I thought what he said was so insightful.




Bourne remembers everything and forgives nothing.
But because of Jesus,
God remembers nothing and forgives us everything.

death

Just got off the phone with my mum and she told me one of the elders in our church back home, FGA KL - Dr. Koh Eng Kiat. He passed away last month. I was pretty shocked.

It's so sad. Death.

He and Dr. Ang Chui Lai, the other elder, were 2 men I was used to seeing sitting in front. They started the church and sometimes they'd be at the door of the main hall, welcoming us with a warm smile and giving us the warmest handshake.

Anyone can die all of a sudden, you never know. Appreciate them while they're around. Things like this remind me to pick up the phone and call people, especially family members I don't speak to much.

Long day!

Here I am still sitting at my computer and it's 12:42 am and I haven't even taken a shower or done what I need to do for tomorrow after work. The reason I'm still sitting here is coz I'm talking to my brother on Skype now - and at the moment, he says he is dying by paying $70 in petrol every week and he is more interested in chinese songs but he insists that he still listens to english songs. And he is trying to find that Wang lee Hom song, the piano sheet and he is going to try to play on the piano. Feel like playing all of a sudden it seems. hahahah...suddenly, wants to touch the piano (before don't like the piano). haahah Anyways..

Work today was really exhausting - i was rushing towards the end probably coz of my inefficiency at the start, sheesh. Tired.

Ok i'm off the phone with my brother now. Was playing him some chinese songs I have through the mic. Ok I really should shower now.

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I felt really sad a few times earlier this evening realising how good a friend Guan is to me and the fact that I don't know when I'll ever have face-to-face chats with him again. Guan is someone who so genuinely cares for his friends, he is even concerned for our well-being even when he was far away in oxford. I know that even though there can be months that we don't talk, I can always count on him and when we do talk again, it's not just funny nonsense but deep meaningful stuff. Sometimes I think I don't even appreciate him as a friend but it humbles me to the point of tears when i realise how much he does. It was good to spend time with him just now, and going to sleep late is worth it. It's funny coz he was asking about my brothers and sister and parents. And I was saying how one brother is so so so busy at work and busy to talk. Then when I come back at midnight after dropping Guan back, I see miss calls on Skype from my brother. I call him back and he talks to me like he's tired and doesn't feel like talking, as usual. Funny boy...I miss my brothers and sister. It was just over a year ago that Guan left Sydney for good and almost a year ago that my brothers left sydney for good on Aug 31st.

So much has happened since then but time flies so quick, it seems not that long ago.

Arrival of the Guan

The weekend's over already =(

I can't believe I'm starting to feel like how I didn't want to feel.

You know, when people start moaning that it's Monday, or the Monday blues as they call it. And when Friday comes, the day just seems so much better coz it's just Friday, and it's almost the weekend! "Oh, it's Friday, don't really feel like working". And then you see those forwarded emails about people's reactions on different days, someone even sent this email with a picture of a baby scrunching its face in happiness coz it's Friday. One of the guys who works in the warehouse where I work says Wednesday is speed bump day. You gotta slow down till speed bump day and it just gets faster after that.

I think I'm just enjoying what I've been doing and people i've been meeting outside work so much, more than having to be at work. But work's interesting, not complaining.

This week, one of my very good friends, Guan arrived from Singapore for a short 1 1/2 week holiday! It's been great to see him again and he's been going out to eat at a lot of his favourite eating places here. When we first saw him, thought he lost weight! 2 months in Singapore after 1 dreadful year in the UK ( hahaha....he said he SUFFERED there in Oxford with the TERRIBLE food, TERRIBLE weather and boring people...imagine him exaggerating) and I still felt like he lost weight from whence i last saw him. And then after hot pot yesterday evening, we saw that his stomach had expanded to the size we were used to hahaha... Feels great going to yum cha and hot pot with Guan again - feels like old times!

Amazing lives, amazing people

Isn't it amazing how much you realise one person has gone through in life as you get to know him/her better? When you first meet them, they're just any person you see walking on the street except you get to know their name and some basic questions about themselves. Or even if they think they've led an ordinary life as they say, you still learn a lot from them from the way they think or live their life.

I was talking to someone I had just known for 2 weeks at work and we got into a conversation which led into her telling me she used to be very strange before, quiet, just into her studies and herself, but she changed after her mom got sick. I was surprised of course, coz she's not strange now at all but more so about her mum and she lowered the volume of her voice as she talked on a bit more. Her mum got breast cancer and she said she didn't want to think about it anymore. Awhile later, as we were sitting and having lunch, i asked her again how she was strange before. She continued to explain, even continuing the story about her mum and I saw her the corner of her eyes dilating. As she kept talking, she started to cry. This happened 6 years ago and thankfully her mum is still alive. I think her mum is still coping and I'm not sure how much she is suffering now.

It has been really nice getting to know her more and talking to her. She's got a great heart.

Who do you admire the most and why?

I can't say I admire anyone the most...but someone I do admire is my friend's mummy. She is always so welcoming and smiling and so generous with what she has. She has gone through so much hardship after her husband left her and she had to raise 3 kids by herself but she didn't stop her ex-husband from her visiting rights. Times were tough, she had to move from being dependent to independent, English is not her first language but she stayed focussed on God. She has such a great heart and I was talking to her today at lunch at their church and she starts asking me if I have a boyfriend and I tell her my grandma asked me, my mum, my aunties..and even my ex-boyfriend's mum! And she's so funny, she starts telling me about this guy in their church and i turn to look. But I say...no way!! he's so old!! TOTALLY incompatible. =P Back at their house when my friend and her sister hear about this, they totally disagree with her, coz he's like 36! no wayyyy...We think he's better off with my friend's 34 year-old colleague/piano teacher. And their names both start with N. =P

It was great to catch up with my friend today and her family...they are always so welcoming. No matter the differences we may have in our Christian beliefs apart from our essential foundational trust in Jesus, God sees the heart. And they do have such lovely hearts.

After that, i went to catch my cousin's bf too coz he lives around the area and wanted to pass him a small pot from work which we didn't want anymore. It was great to catch up with him too, since according to him , i'm like his only "family" here. Bought some pasta and other stuff, and cooked pasta for dinner. He thought it was amazing and so easy to do - coz he thinks he sucks big time at cooking. In front of him, it appears like i'm a pro at cooking...but i'm not at all. SO he gets excited about cooking and stuff, and says "s0, are u free every saturday? ei serious.." He wants to cook more now too. Still have to introduce him to my aunties in Sydney - at least can meet more members of his "extended family" to-be. And I tell him about my aunty's even simpler but fantastic cooking.

It was a well-spent day, love spending quality time with people. But tired now...was watching the Simpsons with my cousin-in-law and i was literally falling asleep towards the end. Been sleeping late and waking up early on some days this week, that's why. Can sleep in tomorrow though....day off from kids church...yay!

G'night!

who are we compared to God?

I was just walking home from a friend's place at about 10 pm and looked up into the sky and it just made me stop. I mean, i look upwards sometimes at night, and it's black and sometimes there are so many stars, depending on where are...especially, if we're out of the city area.

But this sight was just different, maybe coz I hadn't seen it in a long time. I wish I had a camera to take a picture. There were many many fluffy grey clouds conglomerating in a big big circle and the bright yellow moon was present behind the clouds right smack in the middle. The clouds were moving, but it looked like the round moon was floating, dancing, watching over the world through the transparent clouds.

It was amazing because it reminded me how small I was and how big the world is. Being in Sydney can make us forget how big this world is, how even bigger the universe is and how much much greater God who created EVERYTHING is.