The life of Freddie

Another life lost 2 Fridays ago.
I heard he fainted while working at a restaurant early that afternoon. He had some sort of heart disease and blood couldn't flow from his left to his right side or something.

Single parent of a 7 year old boy.
Indonesian.
We knew him as he worked in the kitchen at New College sometimes.
I remember the few short chats I had with him at college. He'd speak to me in Indo and I'd try my very best to respond likewise....there's always this little immediate bond when one is able to speak another person's language. Happens when I meet Indonesians. Not that I speak well enough.

Anyways....

Attended his wake Friday evening.
Justin, his brother came up at the end to speak about him. I knew him from college too.
It was difficult for him and his grief touched our very hearts.

There's nothing like someone talking about the life of a dear one huh?
And realising that I should have spoken to this person more.

The story of the 10 Commandments continued..

So, I've been reading the book of Exodus in the Bible because that's where the story of Moses happens. I'm sort of halfway through the book (40 chapters long) where God is about to announce what his 10 Commandments are.

There's this part that I don't understand in Exodus Chpt 4:24-26. But before that....so far, Moses has been leading a normal life, settled down and already having children outside Egypt in the land of Midian. However, God chooses him to bring His people out of slavery in Egypt as they are suffering under the tyranny of the Pharaoh and Egyptians. Moses is not confident at all because he is not eloquent and wonders why God has chosen him. But God gives Moses the ability to perform powerful signs with his staff. Moses then prepares to leave for Egypt with his wife and sons.

Exodus 4:24-26 - At a lodging place on the way, the LORD met him (I guess this 'him' is Moses) and sought to put him to death. Then Zipporah (Moses' wife) took a flint and cut off her son's foreskin and touched Moses' feet with it and said, "Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me!" So he let him alone. It was then that she said, "A Bridegroom of blood," because of the circumcision.

Huhhh?? WHy would God want to put him to death?? I don't even understand why Zipporah is doing that. Maybe I need to read it again, especially the parts before this part. But does anyone have any clue or know what I'm talking about?

Talking about the movie. It's strange....in the little bits that I managed to catch of the 2nd half of the film, i distinctly remember this scene where this couple are together in a small pool in the desert when the husband arrives and sees them. A fight breaks out and the husband is killed. Both the man and woman are both stricken with pain and guilt. Later on, I don't know how the whole community finds out about this (as i wasn't watching) and the man is brought forth to the tent of Moses where Moses has to make a difficult and painful decision to punish him. Both man and woman are then stoned to death. Now this all happens before Moses goes up Mount Sinai to collect the tablets where God writes his 10 commandments. My point is, I didn't come across that whole affair and stoning scene in what I'd just read. How did the scriptwriters know that that whole thing happened? maybe they were trying to use their imagination or it appeared in some other historical Jewish book that I'm not aware of...?

Also, as i'm flipping the pages, Chapter 20 starts talking about the 10 Commandments and all the rules and stuff all the way till the end of Chapter 31! Chapter 32 starts off with the people getting all restless for Moses is taking so long in coming back from the mountain that they start building a golden calf to worship as God. When I watched the movie, it didn't seem that long! I guess coz they didn't go through all the rules and stuff....would have been too boring I suppose.

Deelip and his work in India

Had this idea early in January this year of going with my friend to India. She was going to go backpack with her brother but I just wanted to do volunteer work which she was also agreeable to. But there was a change of mind and I didn't follow through with this plan. My friend and her brother did go to India though.

However, I did do a bit of research online previously and Deelip Mhaske emailed me. Only 27 years old and so passionate about poverty and other community issues. And the amazing thing is he doesn't even forget me after I had stopped thinking about India. Check out these webpages:

http://paybacktosociety.blogspot.com/
http://kimfalazari.blogspot.com/

Time whizzes past too soon

I used to love going to the airports when we were sending people off. You know, the feeling of going overseas and holidays to "much more awesome" places. And the feeling of being on a plane....no i'm not scared of them! But when I went to Brisbane, Australia with my dad for 2 weeks in 1992 to stay with my cousins there (whereby my dad left soon after for Western Australia on business and home to M'sia), i was feeling all teary at the airport and my dad was wondering what was wrong with me.

Anyway, I think I don't like airports now. Leaving is too sad. I don't know if I'd rather be the person who leaves or be the one left behind. The one left behind has it worse though I think. They return home, and what was supposed to be there, is now emptiness. Life's a dependency and now we have to be on our own.

Sometimes we don't know what happens after that. Our lives can take such a dramatic turn that in the end what was, is not anymore. The one we love never comes back and desires to forget you. Sometimes, all's well and there are no tears. But I know my mummy still loves me and she arrived home safely, thank God.

I miss my MUMMY!!!!! :(

when will this ever end?

Whenever any such news reaches my ears
suddenly my mood drops
and all I can think about is loss
and other feelings of disappointment

I really hate this feeling of sudden mood shift

All I know is that when I look back on this in the future
I'd wonder why it was so hard to forget

Just ignore what I'm saying....

Moses and the Day of Pentecost

The film "The 10 Commandments" was being shown on TV over the Easter weekend and I managed to catch bits of the 2nd half last night at Aunty Kim's place. It's really long and I always wanted to see it after my former Bible study leader mentioned having a movie night to see it about 2 1/2 years back. Anyway, the movie made me want to go read the Moses story properly. Never really did it before but I just sort of know the overall summarised version. Movies just help me to picture things properly and sort of understand their feelings at that time. I always sort of wondered why on earth did they build that ugly gold idol to worship so quickly and forget God while waiting for Moses to come down from Mount Sinai.

At church camp, we were reading one of the chapters in the Book of Acts and i realised i didn't know what the Day of Pentecost meant. I had to go on the Internet to read up on it which was interesting background information. Before i'd just read through the passage not understanding these little bits and pieces. They really make a difference in understanding the context of the passage.

I'm in the mood for some historical juice now.....History can be really interesting sometimes!

church camp this weekend

I'm going to church camp this long Easter weekend - Friday to Monday so see you after that!

if the week could start getting worse, it did yesterday....i was attempting to lock my bike up at work when I realised that i had taken my brother's keys by mistake!! which means, i didn't have my locker key, which means i didn't have access to my work clothes. And the office didn't have a spare key!!! THey only had a spare shirt. So I had to work in my own pants and shoes.

in all situations, stay calm...it is not the end of the world. There is always some sort of solution. Worse things have happened.

2 sides to a coin

You know how sometimes we can be so irritated at our parents and feel that they just want their way when we're trying so hard? we think they'll always be there and we forget to appreciate them. We get so annoyed till the point of complaining to close friends to let off steam. And our reasonings seem understandable coz the parents are seriously unreasonable! But then, if we're from an outsider's point of view who knows the parents, we wonder why their kids feel this way, when the parents are seriously wanting the best for them!

Don't get me wrong....i am so happy that my mum is here, not that i'm not guilty of feeling she fusses about some things too much, but that's the natural instinct of a mum. It's been so relaxing to have the house clean, and all my clothes washed (by hand!!) and food ready on the table! And foood that is not simply cooked with easy ingredients. You know, cooking the type of food u need to learn by standing beside your mum or your grandma while they put in this traditional thing and that lahh. As Aunty Maggie says....unpaid maid all the way from Malaysia!

I don't know what i'm going to do when she leaves. I might have an emotional breakdown.

Graduation Day yesterday :)

**It does feel good to graduate!!**

Actually, I wasn't that hung up over this at first. I went right down to complaining how much i had to pay just to hire the gown and all the other UNSW money-making schemes.

But yeah, it was a great day!!! I was kinda frazzled some of the times and I didn't take pics at every significant place or with everyone i wanted to. But thanks to all who showed up to see me and who didn't - felt really happy by your good wishes - truly!

With my ever present, ever busy, ever nice supervisor, Dr. Robert Driscoll.

*Beautiful flowers by my New College mates*

With some of my coursemates

With my family who came! Mummy is super tired..

With Aunty Kim, who so kindly came and paid for the photos we took professionally (a gift, she said)

Heaps more photos on my online photalbum soon (too manyy... and to be updated).

This week...

It's my graduation ceremony this Thursday!! Time to take happy smiley pics in my gown with my happy smiley friends and be officially recognised as finished with uni for now.

My mum has bought her tickets to Sydney already! She'll be coming over just in time to attend the ceremony.....actually 3 hours before. She'll be staying here till April 22, so in the meantime, she'll be doing all our marketing and cleaning and cooking for us hahaha.... =P. Not serious... Poor mom is stressed with all the work piled up for her, what with she having to come here for so long. She's really organised too.....she has packed already and still trying to sort out her stuff to make way for weight considerations. Well, she was a secretary for close to 30 years. I think secretaries are very organised.

My sister is also stressed. She's got her major exams at the moment.

My bro, Ching Hwa has got his oral Japanese test today......ohayo gozaimasu! genki desu?? We're still going for the jap classes at my uni. He finds them motivating and i really enjoy learning the Jap grammar! very funnn!! :)