Leaving for Brisbane tomorrow evening

It's weird. I was really looking forward to going on holiday (ie. leaving Sydney)...but now, at this moment (Whereby tomorrow i'm leaving for Brisbane), I wish I had more time in Sydney. It's just that i have so much "stuff" to do - if only i was more organised and disciplined- and these people start coming into my life, or existing ppl, and i wish i could spend more time with them over the summer.

Complains complains..haha..

Simple roast dinner & pawpaw salad with my aunty this evening which she cooked.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Don't let the sun go down on your anger..

Anger is a terrible thing. I wish one day, I would not get so upset about things that are really no big deal, in the end....coz it really doesn't matter, does it?

This time, i'm really fuming over being EXCESSIVELY charged for a fused light bulb in my unit by my former real estate agent due to an electrician being called. I was really mad, i even spoke to someone at NSW Fair Trading. My aunt helped to dictate an email I'm going to send out to the agent, I'm kinda half way writing it. I would seriously rather spend that money on buying stuff for people or just donating it to worthwhile stuff.

sighhhhhhh....
anger reallly brings out the evil in me

I guess to some people, they'd just pay it, who cares....But i care. I don't spend money like water, and Weihseun knows it, she thinks i hold on to my money too tight, and my dad thinks so too. But you'd be glad to know that i've changed...honest! but of course i'm still not that "loose" with it. So, besides having to pay that and a parking fine a month ago, this was really getting on my nerves.

Ahhh... i really don't want to sound negative and whinging, but i'm sorry, just in a whinging mood now.

On a happy note, my mum called me just now. She reminded me to call Argyle, the nice old man and wish him a merry christmas. For his age, he is so jovial and happy about life, not complaining, doesn't focus on his health problems or anything, and so helpful and concerned for other people. I want to be like that and not bitter and angry with life, and worse still, to grow into a grumply old bitter woman. Have you ever seen people like that? I saw that sometimes when I used to work at the supermarket. It's kinda shocking when senior people start complaining and cursing. But old people who are smiling, polite and who are interested to ask about you - they're a joy to be around. To be truly joyful and feel blessed by anything that God puts in our pathway - people like that are amazing. Becky, an amazing lovely sister in Christ, sent out an email today to tell us she's back from the Philippines where she was doing part of her PhD research for a month. She is like that, just one of a kind. Her love for God and people is just so vividly expressed in every aspect of her being.

Anyway, I had more thoughts about other things...but another day.
Continuing on with my letter....

I hate conflicts

A good day had to end with such a sour note - seriously spoiled my whole day. Bad thoughts went through my mind on how I should have told her off then in front of everyone and what words I would have used. If my siblings were around, I'd share with them my grievances and they would have surely been on my side. This is the 2nd time I'm facing such treatment from her for what i've supposedly done or not done, and the hurtful thing is her ignoring me, even my simple question on what movie she watched today and shirking away from me like I'm some kinda disease.

A few years ago, we had a big argument session. Today I just left it after a few words to clarify my stance but that was that. I just ignored her for the next 10 minutes until I had to leave. I totally didn't feel like talking anymore to anyone, in the car or back at the house - it was hurtful and i was seriously getting really pissed off.

I've been reading this book and i actually just read this part earlier today about conflict:

Absence of conflict in a relationship isn't necessarily a good sign and that two people are getting along. The reason they never fight is because they never really talked.

10 tips of communication that can help when experiencing conflict in a relationship:

1. Learn to express your feelings and frustrations honestly, but without accusing or attacking the other person.

2. Choose words, expressions and a tone of voice that are kind and gentle. Don't use speech that could easily offend or spark an argument.

3. Don't exaggerate, distort or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme words like never and always.

4. Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.

5. Commit yourself to seeking solutions instead of airing your grievances. Getting even isn't your goal - you want to get things resolved.

6. Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling, and needing. Try to detect his or her underlying concerns.

7. Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal , or argument. Though these emotions are normal, indulging them is sin.

8. Don't hesitate to acknowledge your own failure, and be quick to forgive the other person. Make sure you don't hold a grudge.

9. Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you both understand clearly what the other is saying and feeling. Encourage each other as you press toward a solution.

10. Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right thing at the right time in the right way for the right reasons.

"Our goal shouldn't be to avoid conflict, but to learn to work through it and resolve it in a way that honours God."

The book is about relationships but when i read that part again after I got home tonight, I know in my heart that when I had been thinking how i should tell her off, that i was wanting to accuse her and I wanted to get even and I was definitely indulging in anger and argument. My usual tendency is to avoid conflicts as best as I can, but when it happens, i tend to not really resolve it by proper communication and after awhile, not caring anymore and in the end, just ignoring and avoiding the person.

I think time to cool off is great and to think through a better approach and to ask for God's help to humbly and lovingly resolve it. Still a bit "heated" but much "cooler" now than before.

Oh, according to my previous post, I have been trying to read that book by Tozer. I did read it a bit but it's quite a difficult read (for me anyway) so I took a break by reading another book. I'm not leaving it completely behind...

"The Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer

Found this book among my aunt's possessions.

At the back, J.I Packer writes "Through all of Tozer's books and articles there shines a passion for God that puts our shallowness to shame, and reading him is like drinking at an oasis in the desert." Now, I think J.I. Packer is such a great writer and thinker, so not knowing what this book is really about, I just started reading more of what the back cover said and the foreword, preface etc.

From the preface he writes " Sound Bible exposition is an imperative must in the Church of the Living God. Without it no church can be a New Testament church in any strict meaning of that term. But exposition may be carried on in such a way as to leave the hearers devoid of any true spiritual nourishment whatever. For it is not mere words that nourish the soul, but God himself, and unless and until the hearers find God in personal experience they are not the better for having heard the truth. The Bible is not the end in itself but a means to bring men to an intimate and satisfying knowledge of God, that they may enter into Him, that they may delight in His presence, may taste and know the inner sweetness of the very God Himself in the core and center of their hearts."

I googled him up and the following is taken from Wikipedia:

"In 1950, Tozer was elected editor of the Alliance Weekly magazine, now called, Alliance Life, the official publication of the C&MA. From his first editorial, dated June 3, 1950, he wrote "It will cost something to walk slow in the parade of the ages, while excited men of time rush about confusing motion with progress. But it will pay in the long run and the true Christian is not much interested in anything short of that."

Living a simple and non-materialistic lifestyle, he and his wife, Ada Cecelia Pfautz, never owned a car, preferring bus and train travel. Even after becoming a well-known Christian author, Tozer signed away much of his royalties to those who were in need.

Prayer was of vital personal importance for Tozer. "His preaching as well as his writings were but extensions of his prayer life", comments his biographer, James L. Snyder in the book, In Pursuit of God: The Life Of A.W. Tozer. "He had the ability to make his listeners face themselves in the light of what God was saying to them", writes Snyder. "

Going to start reading this book now, looking forward to what Tozer has to say.

i'm really moving

and so i am moving out on thursday - have to take a day off from work. I was actually supposed to move out nov 27th (which is today) and wanted to ask for an extension, but couldn't get what i wanted coz i was too late. Anyway..

We managed to secure the place my aunt was aiming at and really wanted!

Ok, i will start packing tomorrow after work. I really had no time today.

let our speech be gracious, seasoned with salt

at this moment, my speech is playing on my mind. I think i've been like a "loose cannon ball" lately or actually, possibly my whole life (especially with my family I suppose, where I can let loose speech that expresses anger, annoyance or just totally meaningless speech which shows no care in the world - maybe this is okay for relaxation and laughing purposes). Maybe I can describe it as opinionated self-directed speech.

Anyway, something happened a few days ago which set my anger bells on. And I was talking to my lawyer-to-be friend about it. Have you ever watched legal tv shows of badgering lawyers who can make a witness cry? I really felt that and i was getting even angrier, practically matching his raised voice over the phone. But anger only was for that period. He was trying to shoot me down that i was in the wrong in his badgering tone (i know he doesn't mean it), but my arrogant self didn't want to accept it because I honestly didn't know it was wrong.

I was explaining my annoyance of something with someone today and again, i was kinda raising my voice to express it, as if it is such a huge problem. I still feel bad about talking like that, need to say sorry soon, even though I kinda know that my friend kinda knows how i'm like and not just this one aspect.

In terms of when i'm happy (especially giggling mood), i start using words that can be described as funny-rude. And as i think of something i just said today, i think i could have used another better word.

This is a great verse to always remind ourselves:
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that is may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29

"Lovely Complex"

I love this anime - it's my favourite!! =)

welll...it is the only anime i've ever really watched.

yes, i know, i don't look like the person who even watches anime and you are absolutely right. Never watched any of my brothers' downloaded anime or i wouldn't bother watching when my sister and brothers had it on on Astro (cable tv in malaysia). Thought they were boring - actually, i still do sort of. Never understood their fascination (or anyone else) for anime, and even things like computer games - thank goodness no one in my immediate family finds computer games fascinating.

Haven't finished watching it - 3 more episodes (24 in total and only 1 season). Been watching it bit by bit at my friend's place.

It's a very touching, funny story of a group of high school kids. The main characters are Otani (a very short boy 156 cm) and Koizumi (a very tall girl 172 cm) who are similar and have similar interests and are always fighting and arguing in the beginning but enjoy each other's company. Love story between both of them, basically. The way they interact is JUST SO FUNNNY....and also so touching. My friend can still cry after having watched it a few times.....

Kim Phuc

Today was my day off Sunday School, so took the opportunity to go visit Argyle's church as I had promised I would. Got my aunt to come along as well. It's an off-shoot of the church my current church was under, so the style is pretty much the same. But it's a family church whereas my church is a student church, and being a family church, the service was over in just over an hour...The sermon was very succint and to the point, easy to relate to but still faithfully taken out of a passage in context.

The pastor brought up this photo:



A famous photo of Kim Phúc from the Vietnam War which won the Pulitzer prize. The picture taken in 1972, shows her at about age nine running naked on the street after being severely burned on her back by a bomb attack.

"In 1996, she gave a speech at the United States Vietnam Veterans Memorial on Veterans Day. During the speech she said that we cannot change the past but can work for a peaceful future. After the speech, Reverend John Plummer, a Vietnam War Veteran, talked to some of his old friends and got them to ask Kim if she would like to meet him, for he stated that he was the one who ordered the bombing. She accepted and they met briefly and Kim forgave Plummer. " (Wikipedia)

Ethan Bortnick

Check out this awesome Jay Leno interview !!

6-year old piano genius - he's so cute and funny especially when he talks about his distaste for rock music, ie. Aerosmith. His ability to comprehend questions and answer them and his confidence in front of the camera is amazing.

His website: http://www.ethansmusicsite.com/

Cause to worry though about child "exploitation"...

what a dramatic day

it started from around lunch time. .didn't think it'd turn out like this!

Today I kinda felt like I'm going to move soon even though I haven't started any form of packing except collect a few boxes. My aunt had a more dramatic day because she was told she had to move out TOMORROW by 5 pm. After being given an extension till the 22nd (when she was given notice to move out by the 16th), they told her today that she had to move out tomorrow. Details aside, the real estate agent she has to deal with aren't that nice. And i'm not the only one who thinks so.

We went to see a couple of places after work, and we'll put in our application for one. The place we were aiming at, the current tenants aren't allowing it to be opened for inspection till they move out on the 21st, so basically, we still haven't confirmed a place yet.

But it's okay...my aunt was surprisingly calm throughout, even on the phone as she was telling me stuff. She's amazing but yes, what's the point of getting stressed anyway?

There are so so so many people looking for a place to rent now...it's crazzzzzyyyyy.....whyyyy, it's just the middle of november!!! last saturday, we went to see this unit on the 1st floor open for inspection, and there was a long long line down the stairs and out the front door.

I've got a whole heap of her stuff now at my place. I suddenly feel the burden of packing, especially taking into account the amount of crap i have. It looks okay but when the packing actually starts, it's going to seem like the boxes never enddd...

definitely not fun to move...but i am kinda looking forward to living in a new place with my aunt.

moving again sooon!

yes, that's right, i'm going to type out my letter to give notice to the real estate agent by tonight and email it out. I'm going to move in with my aunt just to Randwick (which is the next suburb). Been looking at a few places from the outside and inside and the key thing in our search was location. Next, not a crappy old place and not too expensive. We're aiming at this place which is still being occupied by current tenants. There's probably going to be an inspection of the unit this Saturday and my aunt told me to get ready some documents...we have to get that place! Coz she has to move out of her current place in 2 weeks.

Anyway, been living by myself for a year and close to 2 months now and it's been okay. Friends ask me, so do u feel lonely? And my answer is no...except early this year when i was not feeling too good. But just for a little while. But generally..if there's no friends, then i guess of course, one'll get lonely! It's like someone saying Sydney (or whatever place it is ) is so boring. There's nothing to do.

So many people to think about and so many things to do, so there's no time to dwell on loneliness. Friends to meet, new friends to make, family to see...
But anyway, no judging. Different people are different. Adaptation levels, attachment to the past or old good friends...many many factors.

So, back to topic.

I am moving soon! still doesn't feel like it coz i haven't done any packing at all except collect a box!

Anyway it'll be nice to live with someone again. A new step, not to step into blindly but being aware of changes to come, and working on other-person centredness.

another year

It's been one year already since my grandfather passed away (nov 2) and exactly one year when i first flew back to malaysia.

I remember that early morning and what I was doing then, and the days around that time. It's weird how much has changed since then. I wasn't sure what to expect at the start of the 25th year of my life but I had a small hope of things to be. But unfortunately, it didn't turn out the way I was thinking, not even a little. An initial terrible desire kindled into flames and stepped into without thinking but ending in a black mass of extreme disappointment.

It's not cancer, not about the fact that someone died. Everyone has their own personal depressive times. But I think God was really gracious in allowing such things to happen to me, like He had to take drastic action to pull me out of a fake paradise I stepped into according to my own limited foresight.

It hurt but this year has been full of new challenges and learnings. In church today, we were asked to think of a life-changing event. I would say this was a life-changing event for me.

Looking forward to this next year of my life :)

Argyle

Had dinner (actually, just hors-d'oeuves - however u spell it) this evening with a senior grandpa named Argyle. My mum met him a few times at her Rotary Club functions back in Malaysia a few months ago when he was there and told him about me and he rang me up a few times. I couldn't meet up with him before and forgot to ring him back. But he rang me up again last week (after he had a surgery....felt bad after he said that) and he feels bad if we don't meet up after he promised my mum he'll look me up. So he invited me to some restaurant website launch he was invited to.

Anyway, it was nice to finally meet him. He sure can talk on and on and on..=P And I try my best to understand what he's saying.

But what I want to say is that he is a really nice person with a big heart and most importantly, a heart for God. He told me more about himself and the way he sees and thinks about certain things and asked me questions about myself. He finds great joy in just helping people, he treats and talks to everyone the same, no matter who you are he'll take an interest in what u're interested in and not just want to do his own thing. etc etc When he said that, I was reminded of what the apostle Paul said (in the bible) : 1 Corinthians 10:25-33

It's interesting how we can just walk by someone and not think anything, or wonder what to talk about with someone new ....but not realising there's so much to find out about someone. So much that one has gone thru in life, no matter who u are. Not that it's so easy to just talk to everyone but God's love compels us to owe no one anything except to love one another (Romans 13:8a, personalised).

Some recent photos

With some of my uni mates @ Mel C's housewarming, Newtown.

She just moved out of her family home to live with 4 other random people already living in this house. Theme: Euro-trash ( she just went on a 1-month holiday in July to Europe, so I guess trying to relive her love for Europe)

Mel & her best friend, Jo...trying to be Euro trash.

As for me, no idea what to wear.That night, when I was driving home, saw an accident on the road. It was my first time seeing someone lying on the road unconscious. I'm not sure what happened but I hope he's still alive.

With Jason and 3 of the church kids.

i like this photo coz it's simple and casual! The more I see the kids every week, i just love them more and more, even though sometimes they don't want to behave. But children are such blessings from God. They're so small and "innocent" and have such simple minds. They listen to you when you are firm and all the more, if you are kind. Parenting is serious business, teaching our children is serious business. Every week is challenging in learning how to teach the kids God's Word, and working out what was good and could have been done better. The world will shape us here and there and twist us according to its wants, but God's TRUTH is never changing. I realise more how important God's truth is in our life first, letting it shape us, before we can even teach it to anyone. It's a journey of perseverance and endurance, toil and discipline - difficult but worth it. Keep telling ourselves that!

I love kids. I think I want 6 (hahah...i'm just joking ok)

Happy birthday to me and my cousin-in-law, Vignesh!

His bday's just a day before mine. My bible study group threw us a surprise - thanks guys :) I know he really appreciated it and so did my cousin (who's in Malaysia) !! I'm glad that he could come instead of spending his birthday by himself and meet my lovely bible study group family.

Bible Study Group Picture with Vig.

My little girls.

Me & the boys

Can't believe the year is ending. I'm like "mother" of the group (they call me that, can u believe it)but even then, I've learned so much from each and every one of them. They're all so special and different, with great stories to tell of their lives. Nothing is too small or unimportant. Even though our lives may diverge, I'm so glad that we're all part of the great one body in Christ and that we're in a journey together, forever.

The story of Joseph

I love this story!! --> Actually, it's not a story - it's a true historical account!!

Recently, we taught the kids at Sunday School the story about Joseph and how God was able to turn the bad things that happened to Joseph into good.

If you're unfamiliar with the story of Joseph (one of the great patriachs of the Old Testament - Genesis 37-50), let me give you a brief overview.
1) Joseph, being one of the 12 sons of Jacob and his favourite son, was despised by his brothers, who then planned on killing him, but in the end sold him to traders as a slave to Egypt. As a slave to Potiphar, an officer of the Pharaoh, Joseph found favour in his sight and was made the overseer of the house.
2) But Potiphar's wife started to lust after him. Joseph refused her advances and she lied to her husband about what happened, making Potiphar angry enough to throw Joseph in prison. However, in prison, God gave him favour in the sight of the prisonkeeper and was put in charge of all the prisoners.
3) Later on, God helped Joseph interprete dreams of two prisoners who worked with the Pharaoh. After 2 years in prison, he was asked to interprete the Pharaoh's dream, and the Pharaoh seeing how wise he was, made him the Governor of Egypt (2nd in charge after the Pharaoh). Because he was the governor, he was able to bring his family to Egypt during the dreadful time of the famine.

And so, God was with Joseph all this while....even though things seemed bad, God had a purpose for Joseph.

Anyway, why I find this story so fascinating is the depth of emotions in Joseph. As I was reading the passage, it hit me how much suffering Joseph went through. And how much he trusted God and truly forgave his brothers for what they had done to him because he could see that God had a purpose for it all.

"Gen 41: 51 Joseph named his firstborn Manasseh and said, "It is because God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father's household."

Joseph is already Governor and his brothers came to Egypt to seek grain, but was accused of being spies by Joseph, whom they didn't recognise.
"42: 22 Reuben replied, "Didn't I tell you not to sin against the boy? But you wouldn't listen! Now we must give an accounting for his blood." 23 They did not realize that Joseph could understand them, since he was using an interpreter. 24 He turned away from them and began to weep, but then came back and spoke to them again."

After his brothers brought back Benjamin as requested:
"42:29 As he looked about and saw his brother Benjamin, his own mother's son, he asked, "Is this your youngest brother, the one you told me about?" And he said, "God be gracious to you, my son." 30 Deeply moved at the sight of his brother, Joseph hurried out and looked for a place to weep. He went into his private room and wept there. 43: 31 After he had washed his face, he came out and, controlling himself, said, "Serve the food." "

He wept loudly again when he finally revealed himself to his brothers, after seeing that they had changed. He wept again on his father's shoulders when he sees him after so many years. And when his father died, Joseph fell on his father's face and wept over him.

I think the account of Joseph is so real, the emotional pain vividly expressed. It's such an amazing story. I think a film of the story would be equally as touching. The depth of his love for his father, his brothers after years of separation and pain.

Memories

~Memories of New College friends ~

I was just looking at all these digital photos that i recently managed to get off Newton and was just thinking about the time when he and Anne came all the way to Singapore to visit and then they and Guan came up to Malaysia for a short trip. Newtown was actually very very kind and printed out hard copies for us last year and where he's from (Shenzhen in China), they give very nice little photo holder album things. And I was looking at the dates - early Feb 2006! Time has definitely flown past so quickly. And much has happened and i'm still not yet the age of our big brother (and senile), Jere when I started at college 2002 and he was already there...hahaha...

By the way, Jimmy Choi, if you're reading this, I just wanted to say "happy belated birthday" and I hope that birds and China and wherever else you may go will continue to enrich your life in many many ways. Happy belated birthday 10/10 to Jere too (how can i ever forget his bday esp the time when we were all watching the FIFA world cup and the time was 10:10 and he exclaimed at that, trying to point something about it - i knew he meant his birthday straight away!). Anyway, he won't read this, but happppy happy 31st Jere!! I wonder if he's still senile =P

Thinking about Kailing, weihseun, Ruthie, Jodie, Joni, Kimmy, Sahil, Mahsa, Dilan, Alex Law etc etc...I cannot believe more than 5 years have gone past.

Newton, Guan, Kenneth, Pey Pey, Anne & me after having satay in Kajang, M'sia

funny advert on the MRT in Singapore

~ At Manly~

A photo of some of my workmates: Anita (work experience only and she's left us), Ivy, me & Leva about 3 weeks ago. We're having lunch at Manly beach as a farewell to Anita. I'm kinda immune to the name "manly" but i wonder why they even named it that in the first place. =P

It was really great to have Anita with us, she helped us so much and I really enjoyed our conversations. I wished she could have stayed longer!

People get fired, or just leave.

A couple of people got "fired" just in the last couple of weeks.

And it was one of the ladies upstairs' last day last Friday...before her 6-month maternity leave. Don't know if she'll come back, or extend her leave, but at least she knows the job is still waiting for her when she comes back. Not always the case though. She's been here close to 14 years too.

Anyway, felt really sad Friday close to the end of the day. My friend wondered why I was so, am i that close to her? - I don't know, change that involves a loss is sad , I even felt pricked and "shocked" when the KFC near my house was bulldozed to build a road, or when shops I'm so used to seeing close down or when my brothers just left me for 1 1/2 months on holiday. When it comes to people, I guess I'm really like my late grandfather.

However, back at work again on the first day of the week today and it was okay. Not sad anymore.

Challenge conference last weekend

A hint from Joni to update my blog haha...ok i'm finally doing it. Last weekend, we had a long weekend coz of Labour Day and I was just away at a Christian conference called Challenge conference.

With some of the girls just before our departure back to Sydney!


It was challenging as the name says. The talks were great and may I use this opportunity to commend anyone who reads here to listen to Phillip Jensen's talks. He is such a fantastic speaker. He is like a wise grandfather, witty and sharp and his humour is just impeccable. His talks are faithful and in context to what the Bible says and he just speaks in such a refreshing manner, recounting personal experiences and also drawing in issues from current and past events of the world.

check out:
http://afes.causeway-online.info/repository/afes-resource/NTE%20Index.html
http://www.cathedral.sydney.anglican.asn.au/pages/downloads-raquo/archive.php

However, ultimately, to exclude other speakers whom we think are not that "great" in comparison with Phillip Jensen would be a biased thing to do. It's not the speaker that matters but who the speaker is pointing the audience to --> Jesus and his gospel.

Another eventful thing that happened that weekend was that my car battery went flat at the time we were supposed to leave. Think my friend who parked my car forgot to switch the little headlight off and i didn't even notice later on. Oh well, i wasn't worried ...coz i knew there would be guys to help me hahah...what are they for anyway... =P just joking

I miss my ex-workmates

I really do.

I just spoke to 3 of them tonight, actually attempted to phone 3 more. Oh it was so good to talk to them, and laugh with them. One just had to say my name and i started laughing. Hearing his voice was just too funny. ANd Jenish , my dear Jenish, the married mother who now stays at home looking after her kids. Talking to her on the phone was like back to old times in the lab. Christine says the lab is now quiet without us.

It'll never be the same again. We're all in different areas now, doing different things, working or not working. I really loved working coz of them. The environment was fantastic PLUS i didn't have the stress of work responsibilities that came with it because I was not a permanent staff, just a casual everyday person. Job was quite carefree. I didn't have to control myself too much, and it was so easy to be myself.

Who we work with is just so important and I really feel it. But all that being said, wherever we go, we need to do our best to get to know people, befriend them, care for them, treat them like how God wants us to treat them. Do our best no matter the difficulty of circumstances unknown to others.

We're talking about meeting up next month. Hopefully it can be organised.

me own a car?

My carpooling friend has found a new job =(

Okay, I'm happy for her that FINALLY she has done what she's been wanting to do and I hope it'll be a great move for her. But at the same time, it'll be sad. No more friend in the morning and after work. It was really nice to get to know her better ever since I started working around this area 6 months ago. She lives near me and works near where I work, that's why I started going to work with her.
Oh well, so going to be driving everyday to work now. Not that I really mind even though it'll be nice to save cost too what with petrol and toll. I like driving and it's ONLY 19km one way!

Yenyi & I having lunch with other work friends (not in pic)

And here are a couple of photos of my car which I bought in May. I'll display them here since I just finally showed them to my family. Especially for those of you who want to know how my car looks like (I'm hinting u, weihseun hahah). Can't wait to sit in my car when i pick u frm the airport if u come visit next year huh? hahah...your bum is most welcome anytime... =P




It's quite a good car. My dad paid for it and recommended it. His friend who bought it says it's pretty stable and it's pretty popular in Malaysia, it seems but pretty expensive. But it's cheaper over here in Australia.I went from knowing ZILCH about cars to at least learning something. I still don't know how to open my bonnet or check for battery water... oh oh..Need to learn this.

It's been great having a car. The car has served me well as well as served a lot of other bums well hahah. I didn't want a car initially when my dad suggested it coz i saw no need for a car. After all, it was going to increase my expenses! I could very well take the bus to work. But yeah, As Jean put it, it's a "ministry car" - very well put, Jeano. Serving people.

Thank you car, thank you dad, thank you God.

Remembering & Forgiving

Last Sunday at church, Ivan commented on this picture that he had seen and I thought what he said was so insightful.




Bourne remembers everything and forgives nothing.
But because of Jesus,
God remembers nothing and forgives us everything.

death

Just got off the phone with my mum and she told me one of the elders in our church back home, FGA KL - Dr. Koh Eng Kiat. He passed away last month. I was pretty shocked.

It's so sad. Death.

He and Dr. Ang Chui Lai, the other elder, were 2 men I was used to seeing sitting in front. They started the church and sometimes they'd be at the door of the main hall, welcoming us with a warm smile and giving us the warmest handshake.

Anyone can die all of a sudden, you never know. Appreciate them while they're around. Things like this remind me to pick up the phone and call people, especially family members I don't speak to much.

Long day!

Here I am still sitting at my computer and it's 12:42 am and I haven't even taken a shower or done what I need to do for tomorrow after work. The reason I'm still sitting here is coz I'm talking to my brother on Skype now - and at the moment, he says he is dying by paying $70 in petrol every week and he is more interested in chinese songs but he insists that he still listens to english songs. And he is trying to find that Wang lee Hom song, the piano sheet and he is going to try to play on the piano. Feel like playing all of a sudden it seems. hahahah...suddenly, wants to touch the piano (before don't like the piano). haahah Anyways..

Work today was really exhausting - i was rushing towards the end probably coz of my inefficiency at the start, sheesh. Tired.

Ok i'm off the phone with my brother now. Was playing him some chinese songs I have through the mic. Ok I really should shower now.

******************************

I felt really sad a few times earlier this evening realising how good a friend Guan is to me and the fact that I don't know when I'll ever have face-to-face chats with him again. Guan is someone who so genuinely cares for his friends, he is even concerned for our well-being even when he was far away in oxford. I know that even though there can be months that we don't talk, I can always count on him and when we do talk again, it's not just funny nonsense but deep meaningful stuff. Sometimes I think I don't even appreciate him as a friend but it humbles me to the point of tears when i realise how much he does. It was good to spend time with him just now, and going to sleep late is worth it. It's funny coz he was asking about my brothers and sister and parents. And I was saying how one brother is so so so busy at work and busy to talk. Then when I come back at midnight after dropping Guan back, I see miss calls on Skype from my brother. I call him back and he talks to me like he's tired and doesn't feel like talking, as usual. Funny boy...I miss my brothers and sister. It was just over a year ago that Guan left Sydney for good and almost a year ago that my brothers left sydney for good on Aug 31st.

So much has happened since then but time flies so quick, it seems not that long ago.

Arrival of the Guan

The weekend's over already =(

I can't believe I'm starting to feel like how I didn't want to feel.

You know, when people start moaning that it's Monday, or the Monday blues as they call it. And when Friday comes, the day just seems so much better coz it's just Friday, and it's almost the weekend! "Oh, it's Friday, don't really feel like working". And then you see those forwarded emails about people's reactions on different days, someone even sent this email with a picture of a baby scrunching its face in happiness coz it's Friday. One of the guys who works in the warehouse where I work says Wednesday is speed bump day. You gotta slow down till speed bump day and it just gets faster after that.

I think I'm just enjoying what I've been doing and people i've been meeting outside work so much, more than having to be at work. But work's interesting, not complaining.

This week, one of my very good friends, Guan arrived from Singapore for a short 1 1/2 week holiday! It's been great to see him again and he's been going out to eat at a lot of his favourite eating places here. When we first saw him, thought he lost weight! 2 months in Singapore after 1 dreadful year in the UK ( hahaha....he said he SUFFERED there in Oxford with the TERRIBLE food, TERRIBLE weather and boring people...imagine him exaggerating) and I still felt like he lost weight from whence i last saw him. And then after hot pot yesterday evening, we saw that his stomach had expanded to the size we were used to hahaha... Feels great going to yum cha and hot pot with Guan again - feels like old times!

Amazing lives, amazing people

Isn't it amazing how much you realise one person has gone through in life as you get to know him/her better? When you first meet them, they're just any person you see walking on the street except you get to know their name and some basic questions about themselves. Or even if they think they've led an ordinary life as they say, you still learn a lot from them from the way they think or live their life.

I was talking to someone I had just known for 2 weeks at work and we got into a conversation which led into her telling me she used to be very strange before, quiet, just into her studies and herself, but she changed after her mom got sick. I was surprised of course, coz she's not strange now at all but more so about her mum and she lowered the volume of her voice as she talked on a bit more. Her mum got breast cancer and she said she didn't want to think about it anymore. Awhile later, as we were sitting and having lunch, i asked her again how she was strange before. She continued to explain, even continuing the story about her mum and I saw her the corner of her eyes dilating. As she kept talking, she started to cry. This happened 6 years ago and thankfully her mum is still alive. I think her mum is still coping and I'm not sure how much she is suffering now.

It has been really nice getting to know her more and talking to her. She's got a great heart.

Who do you admire the most and why?

I can't say I admire anyone the most...but someone I do admire is my friend's mummy. She is always so welcoming and smiling and so generous with what she has. She has gone through so much hardship after her husband left her and she had to raise 3 kids by herself but she didn't stop her ex-husband from her visiting rights. Times were tough, she had to move from being dependent to independent, English is not her first language but she stayed focussed on God. She has such a great heart and I was talking to her today at lunch at their church and she starts asking me if I have a boyfriend and I tell her my grandma asked me, my mum, my aunties..and even my ex-boyfriend's mum! And she's so funny, she starts telling me about this guy in their church and i turn to look. But I say...no way!! he's so old!! TOTALLY incompatible. =P Back at their house when my friend and her sister hear about this, they totally disagree with her, coz he's like 36! no wayyyy...We think he's better off with my friend's 34 year-old colleague/piano teacher. And their names both start with N. =P

It was great to catch up with my friend today and her family...they are always so welcoming. No matter the differences we may have in our Christian beliefs apart from our essential foundational trust in Jesus, God sees the heart. And they do have such lovely hearts.

After that, i went to catch my cousin's bf too coz he lives around the area and wanted to pass him a small pot from work which we didn't want anymore. It was great to catch up with him too, since according to him , i'm like his only "family" here. Bought some pasta and other stuff, and cooked pasta for dinner. He thought it was amazing and so easy to do - coz he thinks he sucks big time at cooking. In front of him, it appears like i'm a pro at cooking...but i'm not at all. SO he gets excited about cooking and stuff, and says "s0, are u free every saturday? ei serious.." He wants to cook more now too. Still have to introduce him to my aunties in Sydney - at least can meet more members of his "extended family" to-be. And I tell him about my aunty's even simpler but fantastic cooking.

It was a well-spent day, love spending quality time with people. But tired now...was watching the Simpsons with my cousin-in-law and i was literally falling asleep towards the end. Been sleeping late and waking up early on some days this week, that's why. Can sleep in tomorrow though....day off from kids church...yay!

G'night!

who are we compared to God?

I was just walking home from a friend's place at about 10 pm and looked up into the sky and it just made me stop. I mean, i look upwards sometimes at night, and it's black and sometimes there are so many stars, depending on where are...especially, if we're out of the city area.

But this sight was just different, maybe coz I hadn't seen it in a long time. I wish I had a camera to take a picture. There were many many fluffy grey clouds conglomerating in a big big circle and the bright yellow moon was present behind the clouds right smack in the middle. The clouds were moving, but it looked like the round moon was floating, dancing, watching over the world through the transparent clouds.

It was amazing because it reminded me how small I was and how big the world is. Being in Sydney can make us forget how big this world is, how even bigger the universe is and how much much greater God who created EVERYTHING is.

Quiet, empty.

It's after 9.30 pm at the hospital. Most patients seem to be asleep with the only light source coming from the hall way or their television sets. Imagine if you were one of those patients. You admitted yourself into the hospital for a small surgery. No one visits, no family or friends. Feels lonely. The only people you meet is the doctor or nurse who talks to you in that authoritative-u're-the invalid-but-trying-to-be-nice voice.

Just remember what my brother was telling me about my grandfather who asked my dad and my brother, why didn't they come and visit one night?

Walking through the lobby after hours was a little strange too. Hardly anyone is around, most lights have been turned off, the shops are closed...the day has ended. It feels a little sad.

Quiet, empty.

You know, I reckon heaven would be a place where it's always daytime. Daytime brings sunshine. The world comes alive. There's noise, and chatter and all sorts of musicality. There's hustle and bustle and lots of colour.

Darkness is just unbecoming. It's when the whole world goes dead.

Well, I guess some people would argue about night time being dead.

Anyway, guess what today? I passed my driving exam!!!! yayyyyy!!!!! i'm so relieved because it's my 2nd time. Finally I can drive the car on my own wherever I want. It's so great. Yay :)

a full weekend of eating

It started on Saturday with a carbohydrate filled brunch with the girls (entree, mains and dessert), followed by afternoon tea and dinner at 3 different locations but it was so fun as I went along with SJ (church friend who stayed with me for a few days but went back to S'pore today). It was nice to have her with me even for a short while...nice to have a housemate! Now getting used to being on my own again.

Sunday was with Aunty Kim, and Aunty Yen and my cousin, Jessica. It was great. I love eating with them and spending time with them. It's just nice to be with family and this time, I'm feeling more mature. Before I was the one who was more looked after, but I'm beginning to want to look after them too. At lunch/dinner, they would put stuff on my place, but this time, I wanted to make sure they had enough. Do they need a lift? I can't wait to be able to drive my car on my own and get out of my NSW learner's licence.

Our conversations yesterday also involved people (Esp. old people) being admitted into hospital. Jessica's grandfather had to go to hospital yesterday morning coz he was having breathing troubles and high blood pressure, and Aunty Yen's friend's father is also in hospital and he has a WHOLE HEAP of problems. And other ppl are going into hospital too...And people dying in the news from this deadly flu. It makes me think that whenever I dwell on stupid self-pity, I seriously could use my time better on serving others and asking after people. There are just so many people to serve: family and non-family.

Yesterday's sermon at church was fantastic(preaching from Jude 17-25). I brought Aunty Yen along with me since it was at 4.30 pm, and we had time to spare till dinner.

I will forever remember this illustration. Jude 23 tells us that we need to look after others. Our fellow brothers and sisters who are playing with fire and starting to accept falsehood...we need to snatch them out of the fire as they are in danger of being alive. We don't kindly open the door, and ask them nicely "would u please wake up and kindly walk out the door?". We give them a few slaps on the face and shake them to get up and if they don't, we drag them out of the door and out of harm's way. Why? Because we love them. We care for them.

(Jude 23b)...Hate even the garment stained by the flesh.
Hate the clothes (the immoral lifestyle) but love the people who wear them.
Hate the sin, but love the sinner.

Because aren't we all sinners too.

Taipei one year ago!

It's now been EXACTLY one year since I first arrived in TAIWAN...wow, I think we already dragged our luggage into our dorm rooms by now and I think at this time last year, an international student studying there who was looking out for us, took us outside the university grounds to go buy some food and I remembered how many 7-Elevens there were. Two on-campus and there were like 3 outside.

So many people are going to Taiwan or stopping over there.... my friend just went there for Lily's wedding on July 8th, Tim & Anna who got married yesterday have flown there since they're originally frm there, my work+uni mate went to Europe and she's stopping over in Taipei on her way back to Sydney.....I can't remember who else

I want to go to Taiwan toooooo...

This morning at Kid's church

Josh's (our church pastor) twin daughters, Laura & Stephie came to help out today. They even brought some treats to share, "mice" which they made out of sugar, egg white, some colouring. They're turning 12 next week and they usually go to another church for Sunday School. Jordan, Josh's son comes to our kids' church though and including him, we have 5 kids in our class (4-7 yrs). There are more kids at creche (under 4 yrs).

Anyway, these girls are wonderful and they're really good with kids. Josh has brought his children up so well, and when I mentioned to him how good they are, he said they're good SO FAR. Don't know about later. But I think, he and Karen, his wife have been a great example of godly parenting coz I just see the fruits of their labour in their children.

These girls are pretty mature for their age. If you speak to them, they're polite, friendly and willing to talk to you. And when you see them with kids, you realise they can just run Sunday School all on their own. They're creative, adaptable to different situations, calm, know what to say to the kids who are not behaving or listening or sharing, know the importance of our lessons and reinforcing what we've learned....they just handled the kids really well.

I learned a lot from them today.

Little girls with amazing talent and big humble hearts!

Kindness this morning

This morning, I was making my usual 15-minute walk to my friend's place (and then we go together to work in her car, she works 10 minutes away from me) when a car stopped. I thought they needed help with directions. I looked into the car and there was a kind looking senior Asian man at the wheel and a senior Asian woman sitting at the back. He said something, i didn't understand and he asked me where I was going. He's seen me walking in the morning and they thought I was Korean. And I then found out they were Korean too. He was going to drop her off in the city too, and I told him where I was going. He asked if I would like a lift and I contemplated it for like 1 second and said okay.

I know it sounds pretty "whaaatttt????" ...you did " what????" But not only was a lift nice coz I was running late, but they seemed really nice, and I was touched by his sincerity especially. And I didn't think they were in any way dangerous (but yeah i know u're thinking, HOW DO U KNOW??). He told me in the car that they have a 5.30 am service or something. They go to a Korean church in Greenacre (which is out west in Sydney), and asked if I go to church too. He had dropped off someone in Kingsford (the suburb next to mine) and was going to drop the lady off in the city, before heading home to Vaucluse (which is like 15 minutes away). They all live in the Eastern suburbs of Sydney, so that's why he drops them all the way here. When he mentioned Vaucluse, I thought of Chris Looi's dad, a church friend. He is someone else whose heart for God is so inspiring, his generosity in opening his house to whoever is incredible, that after I spoke to him, I felt touched to tears (not bucketloads, ok haha and not in front of him) because of his genuine interest and time he took to share with me stuff and encourage me in my walk with God. He even gave me a book to read. He is one amazing person. God has used him so much and God has worked in many many people's hearts through him, I know it.

Anyway, Mr Park, the Korean man, looked like such a kind grandfather, someone who is still alert at that age, someone who loves God and loves people. They get up so early to praise God, and his kindness really touched my heart. It's amazing how God taught me about kindness this very morning through the simple actions of these Korean people. When I was waiting for my friend in her lobby, I saw another old man who wakes up early to take his dogs for a walk or maybe they belong to his daughter. We said hello and said hello to Bubble, the cute dog...he's quite nice. When I came in once, he asked if I was Chinese and we chatted a little bit.

I kinda like talking to old people sometimes, they're great.

Sometimes I have thoughts of what I would like to be like when I get old, if I ever reach that age. I hope to still be alert, active and to have a life that serves God and loves people, just like Mr. Park and Mr. Looi.

Wake up early

Read a friend's blog today and he mentioned how he realises how important it is to get up early, to pray properly, plan and think for the day on how he can glorify God throughout the day, taking a good amount of time to do things in no rush.

Unlike the usual waking up late, and because of that time seems to be so short, there is not enough time for everything, like expressing prayer to God, and having to take shower in hurry, no breakfast, walk to station in hurry, arrive at office and do everything in a hurry.... and another day passes by...

And it's true what he says, that's the way for me, I think. I wake up and rush so that I can go to work and try to get to work on time. At this time with the cold weather and my sleeping late habits, I am getting lazier to wake up early...

Will try to get up early...but must sleep early....

will try.... so far, still failing..

Hostel 2

I went to watch this movie with some friends on Saturday night. Haven't watched the first show which I heard was pretty gory, and had a lot of blood to scare people. Not that I wanted to watch this show, but my friend wanted to watch it, so okay...If you don't know what it's about, in the movie, there's a group/organisation that allows the highest bidder to kill whomever they set as target victims. This movie saw 3 American college students being the victims while they are on holiday in Europe.

2 of my other friends casually mentioned they wouldn't even bother to go see it as it is a stupid horror film. And yeah, they were right. It was pretty stupid but not as gory as I expected it to be. The movie had nudity, lots of foul language flying here and there, sick people with twisted minds....it makes you wonder, what is this world coming to? Why do people have to inject F-words in every single sentence?

I give it a half a star

Making a difference

This week at work we've been having training on beverages from our "beverage specialist" from our Singapore office. I must say, that I was trying my best to pay attention but sometimes, I got kinda sleepy during his long long lectures. Luckily, his powerpoint slides (which he saved on soft copy for us and even printed out&bound) are quite detailed. He was a goofy kinda looking 40+ yr-old "professor", who explains stuff quite detailed, and when u ask him a question, his answer is so long, I can get lost.

It was great to have more people in the lab, made the lab livelier! But you know, at the end of Friday, I did feel a little sad that he would be leaving us. He was kinda funny sometimes, and quite passionate about sharing all his knowledge with us. He prepared so much, and wanted to help us in every way. He'd explain the calculations step by step, explaining why and how it would be like in real factory situations.

Even though I never want to be like him, but he definitely inspired me and he made me think about how important it was to appreciate people. I might never hear him explain all the stuff again, people don't stay around forever. And no matter how much we have any thoughts about anyone, we just don't realise how much they are worth in the sight of God. How much life they have, or what they've gone through in their life.

One of my uni friends just works 10 minutes away from me, and her boss's dad (who started her company) used to work at my company a long time ago. Guess what? He died on Thursday night from a stroke. He has been quite sickly and my friend just spoke to him on Thursday during the day when he came into the office. It was kinda sad, I felt shocked. She's talked about him before, and sometimes about his son or his wife who still wants to work in the accounts dept even though she can be quite hard to work with.

People can come and go. People we see everyday at work, whom we just walk past with a quick hello coz we're so busy and absorbed in what we have to do. People we deal with but don't really know much about.

Check this out: http://www.makeadifferencemovie.com/

I've read it before in a forwarded mail, but my friend's mum sent it again, and it was a good reminder. Everyone has so much potential in them, and by believing in them, it's amazing how much a difference you've made to their life and amazingly, how much they've taught you and made a difference in yours.

Can you make a difference to every person you meet? that's the challenge

go away self-pity

When self-pity comes over me like a stranger excluded, I'm so tempted to give in to a restroom intermission, to break out into moodlessness. But God's Word always humbles me on how I should behave. Putting off my old self to which I used to belong, and putting on the new self, seeking to be renewed, transformed, and changed. All by the grace and power and help of God!

So much to do rather than focus on self! So many other people to love and care for. A simple note, pick up the phone, an offer of help, a warm meal, so many things and people to think about...seriously, there is no time for boredom and complaints of nothing to do!

Dear God,

Thank you God for today. Please "let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from me, along with all malice. Being kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven me." (Eph 4: 31-32). Please help me to walk in a manner worthy of your calling. Amen.

Quotes of the day

"When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?" -- Sydney J. Harris


If you train your mind to search for the positive things about other people, you will be surprised at how many good things you can observe in them and comment upon.
Alan Loy Mcginnis
Writer and counselor

discovering skype

My whole evening today was spent mainly playing with Skype - just downloaded it for the first time.. I think I'm new-technology-challenged in things like PDA, other gadgets, i just don't keep up to date.

So since I'm on Skype now, I felt pretty excited about it and started making a lot of phone calls after topping up my credit. Called a couple of my good friends in SIngapore, called Linda Che in the Philippines who used to work for us a long time ago, and called all my family members except for my mum coz she's working.

It's so cool!!...and so convenient since I don't have a home phone.
yeah, i know i sound really backward hahah...anyways...

I really should do more calling instead of my dad calling me most of the time - and he does it mobile phone to mobile phone. And the urge to keep calling was this feeling in me how little contact I keep - if the relationship was really important to me, i should want to know how they're going! So, you reading my blog, thanks for reading, I'm sorry for the little contact I keep with you.

It was so good to chat to my really good friend, Kailing again too, I talked to her for close to 40 minutes. Just feel like I can call her anytime now, so easy! Spoke to my youngest brother for so long too, I wish I could do more for him, he seems so demotivated with his job, what he wants in life. And Linda Che said her daughter is so naughty, had to go to dentist too coz she eats too much junk but at least unlike me, she doesn't argue with the dentist. I was like...nooo...I didn't argue with the dentist! I think I told him I didn't want to see him. Don't really remember. But she was so surprised to hear from me...first time calling her. It was great to speak to her too!

=) more calling another day...

June already!

Music: 一秒的安慰

List down anything that has been on your mind for the past 24 hours.

A lot.

Work was busy.

But I thought again a lot about my 3 weeks in Taiwan last July. As I flip through my photos, can't believe it was 11 months ago that I did all that. Boy, how fast does time fly.

I just talked again to 詠誼(yong3 yi2), aka Lily, on MSN - I find it a bit difficult chatting to her there coz my chinese typing skills isn't that fantastic - but thank goodness for online chinese-english-chinese dictionaries haha. She is getting married next month too! thinking about her, I am just reminded how I so enjoyed my time in Taiwan and my time with her. She is my friend's (in Oz) best friend in Taiwan btw.

I really enjoyed the time I got to study mandarin there, hang out and go to places with my group of Aussie friends I went to Taiwan with and the time when our calligraphy teacher took us for dinner and even to her place outside Taipei (in the country). I don't think I would ever find satisfaction in an overseas trip that just involves seeing places only, not even like exploring the wondrous sights of that country - it would need this but that wouldn't be enough.

I miss my time there. She told me a lot of Taiwanese stuff and I was forced to speak in Mandarin to her the whole time, which was really good for me. We did simple stuff and it was great. Just going to her place, her friends' place, going to her uni, her school, meeting her little brother, eating different things, seeing the area where she lived, it was great. I learned a lot from her, not only Mandarin, but just who she is. She works as a social worker, she volunteers every Saturday at an Internet helpline (i nearly went there!! disappointed i couldn't make it in the end), and the care she shows her autistic brother and she trusted me enough to let me meet him. I went to his autistic school to pick him up with her, and finally she said I could come to her house even though she does not like to show people the conditions of her home, and does not want to cause any awkwardness that would be displayed by her brother's mannerisms. Met her every week, and twice or trice a week the last 2 weeks.

Outside a small museum where she tried her best to explain to me and where I used a lot of brain energy trying to understand the history she was telling me...felt I learned so much just on that day!

Lily helping me when I couldn't read some of the lyrics

Karaoke was fun =)

At the university she went to up in the mountains (Chinese Culture University)

Overlooking Taipei city (i wouldn't have bothered going up Taipei 101 if i knew about this place earlier!)

At Lily's and my friend's junior high school

Lily at front gate of high school

Lily with an administrative stuff (who used to be her classmate) and a teacher

I miss Taiwan .. =)

feel like a failure

Failure is like feedback.

But when you fail, it's hard to see that in the beginning. Or whatever positive talk people throw at you. Negative emotions are still kinda raw.

So, feel like a total failure now. Don't know how many times I have to face it this year. Guess I can get really hung up on failure sometimes. It helps me sympathise with people. Before when people tell me about their failures, I try to cheer them up but I don't truly understand how they feel, coz to be honest, I hardly failed at school, or really failed to the point of making me feel really down.

I don't want my friend to fail uni
i'll try to call her later to ask how she is

wish my mum was here

frustration

A friend sends me a msg and calls me at about 10 pm to borrow an assignment which is due the next day and which she hasn't started. I was out so I couldn't email it straight away.

This is like the 2nd time this semester for the same subject that i suddenly hear from her again and it's to ask for an assignment.

But this is not the only two times it's happened, it's happened before in other different situations in different ways which makes me frustrated. And she thinks i'm a nice person.

Seems easy....just give it to her...who cares? what's the big deal to help her out? Don't want her to still not graduate.....No one's going to find out, I know for sure. I don't care anyway what marks she gets or whatever, coz ultimately it doesn't matter. And she's got 2 presentations to prepare for or something.

I'm just annoyed now.

Everyday is a special day

Everyday, we wake up wishing we could sleep a little bit more (well, okay, I do anyway) but once I've reached the "I'm definitely awake stage", there's just so much to look forward to in the day!

There're responsibilities at work and it feels good when a job or project is submitted and completed, no matter how small or big, but the most satisfying times I think is getting to know people better. When you move from not much talk to sharing some life stories to actually feeling comfortable poking fun at someone and so on. Who knows where it will move to. There's so much joy when your try to fill your heart with laughter and love, your face with big smiles and your mouth with genuine friendliness and care --> something to aspire to do every day.

This Bible passage really hit me as we were reading it at church today:

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet,"and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. ~ Romans 13:8-10 (NIV)

It just hit me (even though i've read it before a number of times) that these commandments are all actually about loving OTHERS as how we love ourself. More an outward focus, rather than an inward focus.

I think I used to think more along the lines that those are God's commandments (imagine the 10 commandments one by one), and so we are to obey each one because He says so. Or the fact that we just don't want others to do the same to us. I knew at the back of my mind that we don't do these bad things coz we don't want to hurt others...but it just impacted me more today.

God is just so good and He teaches us everyday in unbelievable ways. He teaches us through everyone he puts in our path in different ways. Even through people who don't match our way of thinking, our ideals, our way of life. Today at church, a couple of friends presented to some of us how they would run kids church on the topic of God creating the whole world and everything in it and so, He is King of us all. Their efforts were amazing and I think if there were kids listening, they would have learned a lot, as I was reminded of a lot of things.

And my heart felt overwhelmed just now as a church friend was sharing her struggles with me and telling me some of the things she learned at church today. Life is not a bore at all and not mindless or purposeless which we try to fill by doing something to pass the time.

Everyday we can forget....but God is good to give us reminders.

My cousin has given birth!

Vanessa Mae Chambers was born on 22nd April 2007 at 2:20am, weighing 3.71kg, 54cm in length.

I think my cousin must be a big fan of Vanessa Mae and really like the sound of her name huh...heheh.....and I reckon that baby's eyes are kinda bluish-green from the original enlarged photo that my cousin emailed. Can't really see from the picture below. Her husband, Brian's eyes are also light blue btw

Cutie baby Vanessa sleeping

My aunty (her mum) can't believe she's a grandma now. I just went over to her place earlier and had dinner (she cooks so nice and simple..yum and even had some yummy apple crumble - mann...my stomach is seriously getting bigger that my appetite is increasing at an alarming rate , i'm serious , ...i think i will eat like an elephant if i ever get pregnant and will balloon like a marshmallow hahaha)...hahaha. Anywaysss....yeah shouldn't be talking about being fat...i know anyone reading this would be rolling their eyes at me.

Also, I passed my L computer test (for driving here in NSW) todayyy!! yayy hahah..not that it's a big deal coz it's not hard...but at least now i can drive even if someone with a full licence has to sit beside me. Next...book a driving exam. I'm going to go for at least 2 hours of driving lessons before that though just so that i can get official advice on how to drive properly here. It'll be nice to drive here, and i'll be able to drive people....instead of being driven all the time.

and finally...buy a car...i guess i could buy one already...

They grow up fast

Was talking to little SY on MSN - it's amazing how i'm moving on to the stage of being able to talk to her there now....And she's not even 12 yet

But i'm just shocked at the way she's typing now. Geez...

Her user name already goes something like this : "ur so cool dat peeps ditch u and say ur so freaken gay. " Some boy childishly rudely said something to her...

but anyways...did that really come out of her mouth? i wonder if she was quoting anything from those hip hop songs she listens to now. Her computer has these Gwen Stefani songs and she's singing along to them or other hip hoppy style and i'm like...woww..do kids nowadays listen to this type of music now? she uses other short forms... he thinks hes da best in da hol class. Wow...kids sure learn fast how to short cut their typing...she's a smarty pants this one.

I half stopped when she said "hell no"

and then completely stopped in my tracks when she said ' they r fuked up morons', OMFG

ahhhh

what is happening...does her mother know this??

But I must say that she is very bright and intelligent and always been affectionate and loving.

Different thoughts always gently sweep through my mind when i see different kids in different families, read magazines, books, tv etc...
I have yet to truly dwell on the thoughts ...but
it does come to mind on how best to raise the kids

It's so easy to say that yeah i'm going to do things differently

Pick the good bits here and there
but when reality hits, the challenge can seem like Mount Everest
However, everyone around us always teaches us
the people we want to follow and even the ones we don't want to
Yet, good examples are such a treasured blessing
Godly examples even more so...
For who to teach us to be better parents than God our Father

whom we ask to please change us first to be what He wants us to be, before we look to others for guidance and even to change others


And what better time to learn than now!

A Message by George Carlin

I've read this a number of times already ...all from forwarded emails i think. But I still quite like it coz it's so true

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that
we have taller buildings but shorter tempers,
wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smallerfamilies, more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense,
more knowledge, but less judgment,
more experts, yet more problems,
more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever,
but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion,
big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes....
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers,
throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies,
and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the
showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones,
because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe,
because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you,
because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones,
but most of all mean it.
A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.