Think Positive

If life gives you lemons,

............make lemonade.

Make the best of a bad situation.

~ heard the saying before? i still find it funny..haha..

We are getting there...day by day!

My dad forwards an email...

and he writes:

*********************************************************

Hi Sze wen,

I am heading towards this by and by.

dad

With this in mind, I bought myself a new scooter. I wanted something that was easy on gas and could zip me to the store and about town. This seems to meet my EVERY need. I love it!

You know sometimes when you get caught up with your own life here and friends around you, and then you get caught up with issues that your friends have and then to top that off, you have things going on in your head as well.

And then, you talk to someone in your family overseas or not, whom you sometimes neglect, and you realise that your family has issues too and you have been neglecting them. And then you receive a phone call from your brother too, whose call you missed a few times and then you think, must be something ...when would he call you mobile-to-mobile 3 times in a row from overseas? Actually, you start to think...he's calling me? He hardly, IF EVER, calls me. Especially after since he got that crazy job where he works 7 days a week most of the time. And then you finally manage to pick up his call and then he tells you what is on his mind because he needs to talk about it. And finally, after 1 1/2 years, he finally tells what he truly feels and how he's actually been going - all work related when during those years, he totally didn't have time for you even when you went home. And then you end up talking for 38 minutes. When you know, the last time he actually took the effort to do so was when you left him all alone temporarily in this foreign country and he wrote you this incredibly long email. First and only time in history so far. So you know that he actually has a lot of thoughts going on his head...especially at this time of hard decisions..

I kinda miss my family in a way...my sister was going to tell me something yday regarding something but will wait for another day...my other brother supposedly took "emergency leave" today from his current job to go for this job interview..i hope it went okay. He said he would speak to me online. And my mum is at the moment, busy preparing a write-up for this toastmasters meeting she has on tonight, so coudln't chat to her now.

Talking to others definitely makes me less self-absorbed. I don't think I could stand living away from people in the country-side in a big expanse of land all by myself or with just one other person. Or wherever else. And just living every day just to survive in this hostile world, facing everything as if that's just how it is and that's the end. blah blah....

Nostalgic coincidence

I was just talking to my sister...and as we were talking about Lady, I just remembered something about her. I think all 4 of us (my brothers and sister) were in the car on the main road near our house caught in the traffic. And then I noticed this small little white dog scurrying across the road IN FRONT of our car...and then I realised it was OUR DOG!!! Lady had somehow ran out of the house, most probably when someone opened the gate. And at that time, she was old with cataract problems. I can't remember the speed of her movements but she was definitely weak physically already. But I remember how we got out of the car immediately and grabbed her and put her in the car and drove off. All in the middle of traffic.

Talk about amazing coincidences. If we were too late and too early or just on the wrong road...she would have been lost forever. We were just shell-shocked how she managed to travel all the way there, across 2 big roads without getting herself killed.

My dog has died

yea, so my dad rang me last night and he asked me at the end if I knew that Lady was put to sleep a few days ago. No one told me about it yet so I was pretty shocked. But to be honest, even though i feel shocked, i don't feel sad. My dad said she has arthritis, and my sister has been feeding her for the past month. She is in constant pain and she's pretty old. I hope she had an easy death - my dad and sister took her to the vet and she slowly went to eternal sleep.

She was buried somewhere outside our house.

Death..inevitable ....sad..meaningless how life can be put out by death..and if that is the end..

Unexpectations

I should have gone home but decided to walk towards the crowd. A poster on the door caught my eye and I went to read it. There was an event going on inside. Was I allowed to go in? 2 girls walked out and I made up my mind to check it out and no one stopped me as I took a seat. It was a talk by a very charismatic speaker to a large crowd. He delivered his stories in such a captivating way. Funny too. His talk appealed to the masses but the content was so incredibly shallow, I felt disappointed. Sickened maybe. Sad for the twisted truth. Yet knowing that I shouldn't be judgemental as I'm sure he was pretty sincere. Stayed till it was over and I don't know why but the VERY LOUD constant beat of the music at the end of the event was ringing in my chest. I had to clutch myself. Don't know if I'm getting old or what.

What a surprising unexpectation it was when I noticed a friend sitting on the same row whom I had just bumped into a couple of weeks ago. We ended up chatting for an hour or so outside in the cold about the whole thing. About life and what's been happening or happened. It was pretty deep but just really encouraging. Made me think through stuff. We are so complex; thoughts that run through our mind, our experiences and just who we are. Just one person can teach us so much.

My workmate inspired me to dream dreams today. How much our team can do to help our company achieve "world domination" hahah...something a uni friend liked to say. He has been going on about these ideas in his head and again suggested them as I sales-pitched a few drinks I had made up to a few of my workmates. Anyway, my point is, it made work seem really exciting and fun- so much to discover and explore...! Flower power!

Tell the old old story..

Psalm 78:2-4 tells us to tell things that we have heard which our fathers told us to our children, things about the glorious deeds of God and his might and the wonders which he has done.

My auntie and I got talking about something similar. Not about God. But about our family history, in particular, her parents (my maternal grandparents) and the rest of our Hakka clan. It was really interesting - brings life to people of old whom you don't even think of. Reminds me of this novel i remember reading about the lives from generation to generation who lived in this house called China Court in England, but just not as detailed. Things like how my grandfather was sent to live with his uncle in Malaysia when he was young because he was quite sickly. Life for his mum was sad...a domineering mother-in-law, her husband died (not sure when) and her daughter died in her adult years. But the thing is, my grandfather never forgot his mother and looked out for her when she was living all by herself in her later years, paid for things, brought her out when he brought the kids out to some kinda event but then he got really sick again and his uncle (foster father) had to tell him to stop spending time with his mum for the sake of his health. Superstitions, u know.

Anyway, made me look at my grandfather a little differently. He's still alive, btw.
My auntie told me other family stories as well. Really interesting stuff.

Wish we had a family tree.