You know sometimes when you get caught up with your own life here and friends around you, and then you get caught up with issues that your friends have and then to top that off, you have things going on in your head as well.

And then, you talk to someone in your family overseas or not, whom you sometimes neglect, and you realise that your family has issues too and you have been neglecting them. And then you receive a phone call from your brother too, whose call you missed a few times and then you think, must be something ...when would he call you mobile-to-mobile 3 times in a row from overseas? Actually, you start to think...he's calling me? He hardly, IF EVER, calls me. Especially after since he got that crazy job where he works 7 days a week most of the time. And then you finally manage to pick up his call and then he tells you what is on his mind because he needs to talk about it. And finally, after 1 1/2 years, he finally tells what he truly feels and how he's actually been going - all work related when during those years, he totally didn't have time for you even when you went home. And then you end up talking for 38 minutes. When you know, the last time he actually took the effort to do so was when you left him all alone temporarily in this foreign country and he wrote you this incredibly long email. First and only time in history so far. So you know that he actually has a lot of thoughts going on his head...especially at this time of hard decisions..

I kinda miss my family in a way...my sister was going to tell me something yday regarding something but will wait for another day...my other brother supposedly took "emergency leave" today from his current job to go for this job interview..i hope it went okay. He said he would speak to me online. And my mum is at the moment, busy preparing a write-up for this toastmasters meeting she has on tonight, so coudln't chat to her now.

Talking to others definitely makes me less self-absorbed. I don't think I could stand living away from people in the country-side in a big expanse of land all by myself or with just one other person. Or wherever else. And just living every day just to survive in this hostile world, facing everything as if that's just how it is and that's the end. blah blah....