Failure is like feedback.
But when you fail, it's hard to see that in the beginning. Or whatever positive talk people throw at you. Negative emotions are still kinda raw.
So, feel like a total failure now. Don't know how many times I have to face it this year. Guess I can get really hung up on failure sometimes. It helps me sympathise with people. Before when people tell me about their failures, I try to cheer them up but I don't truly understand how they feel, coz to be honest, I hardly failed at school, or really failed to the point of making me feel really down.
I don't want my friend to fail uni
i'll try to call her later to ask how she is
wish my mum was here
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
feel like a failure
Monday, May 28, 2007
frustration
A friend sends me a msg and calls me at about 10 pm to borrow an assignment which is due the next day and which she hasn't started. I was out so I couldn't email it straight away.
This is like the 2nd time this semester for the same subject that i suddenly hear from her again and it's to ask for an assignment.
But this is not the only two times it's happened, it's happened before in other different situations in different ways which makes me frustrated. And she thinks i'm a nice person.
Seems easy....just give it to her...who cares? what's the big deal to help her out? Don't want her to still not graduate.....No one's going to find out, I know for sure. I don't care anyway what marks she gets or whatever, coz ultimately it doesn't matter. And she's got 2 presentations to prepare for or something.
I'm just annoyed now.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Everyday is a special day
Everyday, we wake up wishing we could sleep a little bit more (well, okay, I do anyway) but once I've reached the "I'm definitely awake stage", there's just so much to look forward to in the day!
There're responsibilities at work and it feels good when a job or project is submitted and completed, no matter how small or big, but the most satisfying times I think is getting to know people better. When you move from not much talk to sharing some life stories to actually feeling comfortable poking fun at someone and so on. Who knows where it will move to. There's so much joy when your try to fill your heart with laughter and love, your face with big smiles and your mouth with genuine friendliness and care --> something to aspire to do every day.
This Bible passage really hit me as we were reading it at church today:
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet,"and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. ~ Romans 13:8-10 (NIV)
It just hit me (even though i've read it before a number of times) that these commandments are all actually about loving OTHERS as how we love ourself. More an outward focus, rather than an inward focus.
I think I used to think more along the lines that those are God's commandments (imagine the 10 commandments one by one), and so we are to obey each one because He says so. Or the fact that we just don't want others to do the same to us. I knew at the back of my mind that we don't do these bad things coz we don't want to hurt others...but it just impacted me more today.
God is just so good and He teaches us everyday in unbelievable ways. He teaches us through everyone he puts in our path in different ways. Even through people who don't match our way of thinking, our ideals, our way of life. Today at church, a couple of friends presented to some of us how they would run kids church on the topic of God creating the whole world and everything in it and so, He is King of us all. Their efforts were amazing and I think if there were kids listening, they would have learned a lot, as I was reminded of a lot of things.
And my heart felt overwhelmed just now as a church friend was sharing her struggles with me and telling me some of the things she learned at church today. Life is not a bore at all and not mindless or purposeless which we try to fill by doing something to pass the time.
Everyday we can forget....but God is good to give us reminders.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
My cousin has given birth!
Vanessa Mae Chambers was born on 22nd April 2007 at 2:20am, weighing 3.71kg, 54cm in length.
I think my cousin must be a big fan of Vanessa Mae and really like the sound of her name huh...heheh.....and I reckon that baby's eyes are kinda bluish-green from the original enlarged photo that my cousin emailed. Can't really see from the picture below. Her husband, Brian's eyes are also light blue btw
Thursday, April 26, 2007
They grow up fast
But I must say that she is very bright and intelligent and always been affectionate and loving.
Different thoughts always gently sweep through my mind when i see different kids in different families, read magazines, books, tv etc...
I have yet to truly dwell on the thoughts ...but
it does come to mind on how best to raise the kids
It's so easy to say that yeah i'm going to do things differently
Pick the good bits here and there
but when reality hits, the challenge can seem like Mount Everest
However, everyone around us always teaches us
the people we want to follow and even the ones we don't want to
Yet, good examples are such a treasured blessing
Godly examples even more so...
For who to teach us to be better parents than God our Father
whom we ask to please change us first to be what He wants us to be, before we look to others for guidance and even to change others
And what better time to learn than now!
A Message by George Carlin
I've read this a number of times already ...all from forwarded emails i think. But I still quite like it coz it's so true
A Message by George Carlin:
The paradox of our time in history is that
we have taller buildings but shorter tempers,
wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smallerfamilies, more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense,
more knowledge, but less judgment,
more experts, yet more problems,
more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever,
but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion,
big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes....
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers,
throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies,
and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the
showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones,
because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe,
because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you,
because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones,
but most of all mean it.
A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Cute
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
after a long easter weekend
can't believe it's already April, huh?! i've been at my new company for 6 weeks now! work's really going okay and i find it all really interesting. I'll talk about it another time.
Anyways, another long easter weekend is over and just got back from our annual church camp Monday evening! Church camp was awesome. This is my 5th time, but honestly, I'm just starting to realise this year how much wisdom there is in God's word. I used to think a lot of things were stuff I keep on hearing every time. It's like, I'm not really learning anything new. But God's word is seriously powerful.
2 Timothy 3:15-16 ...the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteusness... (NIV).
I thought the explanation i heard below was pretty helpful:
The bible
1) Teaches us - instructs us towards knowing what the truth is
2) Rebukes us - tells us when we leave the truth
3) Corrects - tells us the way to go back to walking in the truth
4) Trains us in righteousness - helps and equips us to keep on walking in the truth we've been taught.
God's word humbles us and just shows us how sinful we are, how selfish we are, how we think we know how to run our own life when we really don't.
my bible study group this year at camp!
The theme this year at camp was "Love is...". We learned a lot on what love is as defined by God from the main talks and bible studies and there were other related topics during our elective sessions. The rest of the time, we ate and played games or sports, hung out and relaxed!




With the whole Siva family at Kiama minus the youngest cousin, ShaktiTrust God no matter what
We worship God when we allow our heartache and our horrible circumstances to crowd us closer to the One who grieves with us because he loves us more than any other.
So what?
· Give your circumstances to God – God sees the big picture, so he is the best one to interpret your circumstances. He is in control of all things, even when it may not appear that way.
· Look for the blessing – When faced with heartache, ask God to show you the blessing, the dark treasures, hidden within. (Isaiah 45:3)
· Instead of asking, ‘Why is this happening to me?’ ask God, “What do you want me to do in this situation?”
· Pray: “Oh Holy One of Blessing, Your presence fills creation. Thank you for this day and for the simple blessings I so often overlook. You go before and behind, and I trust you to turn these circumstances into something that brings glory to you.” "
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
why not to eat beef
A friend recently told me the reason why she doesn't eat beef.
She once saw a cow, that was going to be slaughtered, shed tears. For the cow knew that its time was up.
Can you imagine that? I was expecting her to say she doesn't like the taste or she was a buddhist and never touched beef in her life or red meat is bad for you or something. But after hearing that, made me want to never eat beef again. Feel sorry for the cows...actually, makes you feel sorry for animals that we eat. Chicken killing at the markets already makes me sick.
Anyways...if you're wondering, i'm not turning vegetarian yet...
Sunday, March 04, 2007
started new work already
Monday, February 26, 2007
LOVE
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy coming CNY
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Cool quotes
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
-Leo Tolstoy
What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.
-A friend wrote this on MSN which I thought was really cool.
Been reading this on Ray's blog (look to the right)...not to plagiarise, but just wanted to put it here too.. =P Just thought it was an amazing piece of writing, inspiring, not sure where he got it from tho.
"Live. And Live Well. BREATHE. Breathe in and Breathe deeply. Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do not be future. Be now. On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun. If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE. Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time. If you bike, pedal HARD… and if you crash then crash well.
Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well done—a paper well-written, a project thoroughly completed, a play well-performed. If you must wipe the snot from your 3-year old’s nose, don’t be disgusted if the Kleenex didn’t catch it all… because soon he’ll be wiping his own. If you’ve recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE. And Grieve well. At the table with friends and family, LAUGH. If you’re eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you puke. And if you eat, then SMELL. The aromas are not impediments to your day. Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven. And TASTE. Taste every ounce of flavor. Taste every ounce of friendship.
Taste every ounce of Life. Because-it-is-most-definitely-a-Gift."
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Friends always
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Happy New Year =)
nite nite =)
Friday, December 15, 2006
Last day at work
It was my last day at work today. I must have been the least-stressed person there with the least amount of work. I am thankful to be working in a job that allows me to sit on my bum 8 hours a day and be nice to people on the phone and face to face.. hahahha . Actually...I think the Indonesian tea lady-cum-cleaner was the least stressed of all of us coz she doesn't have to deal with people. She is so nice, always brings me packeted water and today she made me a mug of teh tarik. She told me to call her when I'm back from Australia again =)
And all of them there think I'm still a student. They say I look young. I wasn't that flattered to hear that, to be honest. =P Must be my short hair or coz I couldn't be bothered to put on make-up, I don't know.
Anyway, it was pretty nice working there and pretty fun sometimes. I'll miss it a little. =)
Sunday, December 10, 2006
More work
It's confirmed...i'm going to have to work this week. It's nice that tomorrow is a public holiday!! yipppeeeeeee.....coz it's the Sultan of Selangor's birthday (Selangor is the state I live in). Anyway i'm going to work 4 days this week and that's it. NO more. The lady I'm replacing is still on medical leave. After that, I have 2 weeks left of holidays and then I'm going back to Sydney on NYE coz i have to start work 2 days later...
Anyway, recent picture of my mum, sis and me:
Getting my mum to get in the photo was hard enough. She followed after her parent's weird superstition about not taking photos of only 3 people. Geez mann...it's always like this. How about if I want to take a photo with both my grandparents?? or if there were 3 kids in the family? Pretty illogical...anyway, i made her take the photo by throwing a bit of a fuss....it took me some effort just to put the camera in a nice position anyway!!
hahah...anywayss...i got the photo taken !! haha..
Thursday, December 07, 2006
2nd day at work
Today wasn't too bad. I'm getting used to picking up and transferring calls and getting to know who more people are. And today I brought a book to read. Other stuff to do when there is nothing to do is to read all the forwarded emails, daydream, just write stuff and do more thinking. The HR person who taught me stuff said i could pass my time by maybe reading the newspaper or something....u know lahh how to pass time, she said. And u know, now i understand why i've seen receptionists with magazines in their drawers or reading a book at their desk.
Anyway, here is a photo of me with Noni and Boe.
Yeah, Boe actually came into the house...my father must have let her in. But miraculously she didn't bite off the Christmas ball decorations.
Noni.
She was from my grandfather's and guess what...she has given birth to 10 puppies before. But I like her the best...she's so small and cute and she stands on her hind legs and licks you gently and she's nice to touch. Not so hairy and salivary. And she doesn't jump up you so crazily like Boe.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Temp job
Guess what? I started work today as a receptionist at EPSON (Japanese company making printers, cartridges, scanners etc). But only for 3 days....unless she calls me next week to come in again.
It's my first time being a receptionist....and....it was so boring, especially when I didn't have calls to answer. Getting used to the switch board and transferring calls to all these people wasn't boring ...it took some time. One person even called up wanting to make a complaint to the head of Sales, and when I told him I'd refer him to Customer Service, he was like, what's the point? If something doesn't happen, he's just going to call the police.
Anyway, it was okay....if I was a permanent long-term receptionist, I'd make a lot of effort to get to know everyone's names, but since I'm only working for a very short time, I don't really have to learn a whole heap of other stuff as well. At the food company I work at in Sydney, we have the bestest receptionist. Her name is Odette and she is such a sweet friendly lady. She knows allllll our names....even "lowly" casual workers like me and my friends and she learned how to pronounce my name correctly without even being taught by me. And she says hello Sze Wen to me everytime and smiles.
Hearing all these computer products and problems is also a new thing to me. I don't like all these computer technicalities very much....don't even know about them very much.
Anyway, it was an overall not too difficult job even though it was so so so boring at times. Every time I do an administration kinda job, it reminds me again why I don't want to work an office job. Looking at the people in there....I don't want to work like that either...
okay...gotta jet...meeting Robyn, my roomate in Taiwan...she's here in KL!!