Oh what?!?

geeeezzz I can't believe Bobby Flynn has been kicked out of Australian Idol!!!

whatt????

yes, I follow Australian Idol...I don't get to watch it every week, like the recent one that passed. Honestly, I also think it's stupid in a way.

BUT i really liked Bobby Flynn...always loved it when he came up to sing!!! really did. He's so unique and original. And just so real. You could tell his sincerity and the fact that winning Idol is not what he's there for. He's the only contestant I've really truly enjoyed watching so far.

it's a sad day. I thought he'd make it all the way, or if not, to the final 2 at least. Now I think Jessica Mauboy is going to win. She's got an awesome voice.

Better future?

When I go back to Malaysia or just meet some Malaysians here or wherever, they just go on talking about how conditions back in Msia are not good and there's just no future. Over here, things are better, no racial bias like there, better education, pension, salary, work conditions etc. My former neighbours told me today how so many people just want to come over here for a better life. There's just no future in M'sia.

Someone told me he wouldn't want to raise his kids in Msia. Kids who'd grow up and hang out by going shopping or to karaoke. His perception of settling down in this place out of M'sia was not for a better financial future but i guess for his kids to realise "what life and living in this world truly is about"....i suppose he can't stand the M'sian mentality of everything and our living in this brickworld.

What can I say? I think I'm just fortunate to have been able to come to Australia to see, hear and talk to different people with different perspectives and yeah, it's a great country, like my 2nd home. But Malaysia is a beautiful country as well and I'm just really proud of being Malaysian, even though what I know of it is not very much. It hits me sometimes...what's my focus of getting out of M'sia? it is for my future? for my life whatever life means to ME? for the future of MY kids?

What's life really about anyway? to live and be happy?

I was watching "The Apprentice" just now on tv. Honestly, I find watching it fun and entertaining but it's always all about winning to the extent of speaking upwards about oneself and dissing someone who does a bad job. People just care for themselves and pleasing and sucking up to people they need to please.

So stupid. I'd never want to be on any show like the Apprentice.

Finally!!

yayy....I'm finally a Permanent Resident of Australia as of today. To be honest, feels not much different. I'll have to go get the new visa label from Immigration, I think and I'm not sure what to do after that.

anyway, i'll email to tell my family now..

=)

Goodbye

When I walk into the old familiar place,
I see emptiness
why is it so bare?
But memories I see
Memories I hear
The walls speak out to me as I walk past
Perhaps he is watching a movie on his computer
or sleeping his tiredness away.

My room is empty
How can I not sleep there again?
Goodbye you, and you and you
To the laundry room downstairs as well
How can I not come here again?
or open the mailbox again?
or get off the bus at the same place?

I'm sorry I didn't take care of you properly

Goodbye...i'll miss u.

Do Not Worry

Just been reading these verses. They're one of my favourite passages.

Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

almost goodbye

ok, i'm moving tomorrow!! but i don't have to officially hand over my keys till saturday....but I have to pack almost everything by early tomorrow morning. I'll spend the rest of the days till Saturday doing cleaning when I can...

...and that's the plan!

sounds organised but it's an illusion....really.

Random thoughts for the day

Everyone, don't eat those cheap "sausage" rolls and meat pies again. They are really crap. My workmate was making the filling up (just mixing different powdered ingredients and stuff) and I don't even see any form of meat in the recipe. Anyway, just looking at what I make up everyday, i see the stuff i put into any food product and seriously, the amount of sugar, or salt or other phosphates, and acids i put in and other stuff u put in to stabilise the food amongst the normal flour, spices and herbs. All the sweet products we make up like cake mixes have just over 50% sugar, i swear. We could just die of diabetes. I guess the cakes and sweet stuff we bake at home have a lot of sugar too....it just didn't seem taht obvious to me then.

Fake and unhealthy. Being a food technologist in that kinda food line, I feel it's kinda ..."unpurposeful".

anyway, i shouldn't be saying this coz eating a little bit of processed food here and there hasn't killed most of us, huh. People are still alive! Processed food has helped feed a lot of people in varied situations. What would u do without them? You'd have to make fresh pasta and how are u going to get your baked beans? or cereal, tomato pastes, cheese etc But since my brothers have left, I'm trying to finish most of my processed food. I'm not going to buy much of these anymore. Recently, I've only been buying fresh fruits and vegetables to eat. They're so much cheaper and healthier. I don't intend on buying any more meat to cook and eat unless i have to do it for someone else or unless i go out to eat. Well, maybe canned tuna, maybe. I just don't care to buy meat anymore now that my brothers aren't here.

I'm not really a health freak but i see the importance of eating healthier stuff. Not that i'm going to buy expensive organic healthy stuff from the supermarket. I'm still a cheapo but not so cheapo to buy really crappy stuff. I still can eat a lot of processed crap, i don't mind but for now, i'm going to be a rabbit and eat sliced carrots, lettuce and cucumber for lunch.

Ok, not always :P

hahah my mum is funny....

"Funny thing is I do feel a very small part of my life [ie, that part when I spent a short stay at the apartment] has been whizzed away by the couple who bought your stuff [especially the fridge - I was 'interacting' with it for whole 2 weeks]. "

i didn't feel as sentimental as her, but like her, i did like the fridge. But glad the burden of carrying those heavy stuff has been taken of me!

Home alone

Before anyone thinks i'm all lonely and stuff...I'm okay :)

My brothers left a couple of days ago and surprisingly, I didn't feel as crap as I thought I would be. I think coz this is the 2nd time they've left me by myself and I had PR stuff to sort out with my aunt right after they left and i've got all our junk to move out and other things in my mind. I'm definitely moving out...gotta get out here in about 2 weeks. I'm not sure where I'm moving yet...my mum was like..what?? hahha

Someone is coming tomorrow to buy some of our big furniture like my brothers' beds, sofa, study table etc ...and my fridge...oh, my big fridge. Oh well, at least i won't have to figure out a way to carry it down later on. So, I'll have to try to finish up all the food that needs to be refrigerated or do something with it.

My brothers helped me a lot especially to pack stuff in boxes. It's my fault we didn't move earlier. But it's okay....everything will be taken care of! My room is in a total mess, like a typhoon.

I cleaned up my brothers' room yesterday and tried to make the stuff we wanted to sell look presentable..They don't have much stuff unlike me....i like to hoard, can't bear to throw out some stuff but some will have to go..

Anyway , back to more cleaning and packing...

This is cool!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

And brilliance of symmetry...great way to remember the times table below:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Please pray for my grandfather

I was sleeping when my dad rang me on my mobile close to midnight 2 nights ago. First time in long time sleeping this early too. I hadn't spoken to him in awhile and honestly, i don't exactly enjoy speaking to him because he always talks about the same things. It's the way our relationship has been like as I've grown up, I suppose. But you know, I felt so rebuked as I was talking to him. Really felt how selfish I was to not regularly check up on how my family is back home, or how things are. Imagine this, in one week, we ourselves could accomplish so many things. If I don't speak to one family member in one week, i don't know a whole heap of stuff of what's happening in their lives. And I haven't spoken to them in maybe a month or something.

And so, my dad has recently returned from the US on this trip he went to with his biker friends....and I didn't even realise that he had gone!!!!!!!!! and when he mentioned it, i remembered he had told me at the beginning of the year and maybe a couple of months back.

And the worst news, my dad tells me Dr. Annuar called him to return earlier than planned because of Ah Kong (my paternal grandfather). Ah Kong went for an operation last Monday and i only knew that coz...my cousin told me on MSN. And he said the op went okay, so no need to worry and i didn't. So, I knew nothing else till my dad called 2 nights ago to say that Ah Kong is going for another op on Tuesday (yesterday). And the day after he had his first op, he had a stroke, his heart stopped and his kidney failed and he was placed in the ICU. And he has to go for a 2nd op coz his intestines are tangled up somewhere which is affecting his kidneys and his ability to pass motion.

Geez...

I called home yesterday evening but only Fe Che was home and she told me even more stuff, not so much the technical stuff, but how Ah Kong is, and how he was crying that he would not see yungyunghwahwa before he dies, that he is getting old, that everyone was at the hospital so so worried, stuff that happened when daddy was still away, the amount of tubes sticking out of his body, ....just stuff that made me so so sad.

My brother, Ching Yung then called my dad up. He was at the hospital and he said the op went okay, so my brother told me no need to worry. No need to worry for now, but will he still be alive when I actually go home to Malaysia, whenever that is before March?

My brother, Ching Hwa scanned these old photos in (He actually made an album out of the old photos my grandma gave us - not e-album!). My dad is the younger boy in the pic above. I love looking at these old pictures, especially the way my bro laid them out in the album. I see my dad smiling, with little bricks and other things in this little wheelbarrow thing he's holding and it makes me appreciate my dad more. I think my granddad was quite good-looking then? don't u think? I actually think both my grandfathers were pretty good-looking. hahah

Anyway, Yungyung has FINALLY gotten his PR application approved - whoopie!! He got notified by email last night. Mine is getting there...almost but not there yet. Coz we're on different PR visa types, I've got to do more stuff - my aunt actually, who's so kind to go through this hassle with me. My friend who is in the same boat as me, said her agent told her that my aunt goes for the interview next week, it'll take another month to assess everything!!!!

...and he bought a ticket today to go home on the same day as my other brother -- NEXT THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what am i supposed to do by myself????????? makes me want to go home too

both my brothers will be going to China anyway maybe in Sept/Oct...CY won this trip to CHina for 2 from these shares he has which my dad set up under his name....or something like that. Don't know nothing else. But he's also going back coz of Ah Kong and all that.

Also, haven't found a suitable place to move out yet. Can we move out before next Thursday?

anyways..

really wonder sometimes why i'm sticking around in Australia

....

My Malaysian neighbour directly above me is leaving on a 2-month holiday to China, Malaysia, Singapore and I'm not sure where else. The whole family is going: parents and 2 kids around my age. Holiday plus it's the parents' wedding anniversary. Aunty is always so nice to us. I met her when my brother and I came to check out this place for the first time more than 2 years ago. She frequently brings us food like sandwiches, baguettes, bread rolls from the cafe where she works at. I'm still not tired of them, saves us from the hassle of cooking or preparing something to eat. Haven't told her that when she gets back, we'll probably not going to be here anymore, but i'll leave a note under her door.

Anyway, at the moment, i feel like that life is pretty stagnant, especially after the exciting trip to Taiwan. I kinda feel directionless now, i don't know. At work in the lab, my friends (same position), we're either joking, laughing or talking serious stuff ie. we need to get out of this job and find a new one!! That's only coz we both have a degree, and he has a masters degree. Impatience impatience ...i feel it brewing. But then, the more impatient i feel, the more something doesn't come usually. And office politics, it's everywhere...something is so wrong with this world. Sometimes i realise how negative i can be when I speak, even at home. It feels good to let someone know how i truly feel but then later on, i wish i hadn't been so negative. Anyway, there are so many things to be thankful for at work, so I'm glad to be there.

anyway enough writing for now....i might go watch a taiwanese drama series later. One of the things I'm doing to keep up my Mandarin =) When I came back, i had dinner with 3 groups of friends (Bible study group, New College and chinese-speaking coursemates) and mannn....they all started speakng mandarin to me and laughing at me, esp my college and uni mates. One of my coursemates said that he's not going to speak in English to me anymore and he really didn't....haiizz...good for me i suppose.

haha...

good nite

we're moving out soon

Firstly, one of my brothers is going home to M'sia at the end of the month for sure, the other will be with me as we wait and wait.....and wait...as to whether we will be permanent residents of Australia. And then he'll leave me. So, don't really wanna live in this 2-bedroom place by myself.

Secondly, had an argument with the lady downstairs a couple of nights ago. Stupid woman started banging on our door and shouting like a crazy psycho coz all 3 of us took a shower that night after 12 am. My brother and I actually raised our voices ...we never used to shout when we talked back to her before but this time, we couldn't stand it anymore. She freaking hears everything we do coz she lives on the first floor (and as she puts it, the driveway is below her unit and so the sounds echo back). I just slammed the door back at her after i asked if she was finished with all her shouting.

anyway, we'll try not to shower after midnight anymore but we're definitely getting out of this place. Haven't found one yet but my brother has started looking online. I know my actions are really unloving and i'm probably going to regret even talking bad about her here, but at the moment, i don't give a rat's ass.

First day back at work

I started work in the lab again today. Early morning starts again...ahhhh...and my 2nd bus at 8.01 am was late which made me late to work but anyway, it was really great to see my workmates again!! Simple acts of friendliness and smiles can go a long way - it warms my heart just to get to know these people better. No matter where we go, we meet different people, whoever they are, with their own story to tell. Even you...yes you, you reading my blog now!!Anyway, If I ever had to leave, i'll find it hard-pressed. I'm not sure about the outcome of the job interview yet but found out i've got one of my coursemates working there too!!

Been feeling so lazy, the weather is making my bones and skin wither away like an old granny. hahha...

Back in Sydney again!

Now that I'm back, there are some things to sort out....work, i've got another job interview on wednesday, coming accommodation plans, brothers might be leaving etc etc...

Came back this morning and unpacked most of my stuff but I've been sleeping all day. And it's raining....rain, rain, rain...cold and wet. I prefer it hot hot hot!!

I miss Taiwan :(
I was really getting used to life there. I don't really want to be back. But ...it was not hard to adjust back...just lingering sentimental feelings, you know.

Next, just focus on the next part of life.

Taiwan - 4

It's my last night here in Taiwan =( July22, Saturday night as I write this.

so quick quick quick!!!

I've really really enjoyed my time here in Taiwan, it's like another part of my life, another short phase. And I really like it how it was not just a holiday and seeing a whole new place and all, but I got to learn Mandarin and other Taiwanese culture stuff and also develop new friendships. I wished I could have stayed another week or a few more weeks or something. But reality is, money will run out here and back in Sydney.

I should be really thankful for this opportunity. At the moment, my heart feels a bit heavy....sounds a bit off-key, but anyway, i don't know how else to describe it. Not the fact that I won't be in this room anymore tomorrow night at this time. Our calligraphy teacher and her husband took us to her mom's place an hour away out of Taipei today and we had so much fun there singing Karaoke and going out to see the lotus flowers and crabs and then coming back to have a great dinner her brother prepared for us. It was fantastic. I wanted to go meet my friend as well in the evening coz she was going to show me where she volunteers every Saturday evening at an Internet helpline centre. I really really really wanted to go see it. Thought I would have enough time, but no, there wasn't. Hopefully, I can see my friend tomorrow. She's my coursemate's best friend and she has been so nice and so patient with me, she's like a great big sister. I've met up with her every week! Learnt so much from her, not just coz we have to communicate in mandarin but from who she is and her life and work. Yesterday, she took me up to see the university she went to, which is up the mountains and to have dinner around that area and then followed her to pick her brother up. Her brother is autistic and she is truly such a good sister. She's also a social worker with kids and she studied Chinese culture as well, so she's really good at Chinese. She explains so well and patiently in Mandarin when I keep on asking her my questions in my childish mandarin way - what is this, what is that, what do u mean...sometimes using wrong tones. And she listens when i try my best to tell her a whole heap of things that I've been up to and experienced in Taiwan and other things. I decided the only way to improve was to keep on finding things to say and ask and to listen and at the same time, to study my Mandarin textbook to improve my vocabulary! I'm still pretty crap.

So, yeah i wished I could have gone to see her voluntary work thing. But being in my room now, with my roommate having left yesterday (I really enjoyed spending time with her too), had some negative thoughts forming in my head, 100% non-Taiwan related. Stupid feelings that make me feel like my life is worthless to some people and other stupid stuff. I try to think about stuff my really "whatever" friend told me or when I meet some people and the kind of people they are. Even like, my Taiwanese friend's workmate who is so friendly and talkative and funny! She taught me while we were on the MRT on how the Chinese Bible she has (New Testament) works. I've kinda forgotten most of the things she told me now. I've been going to this Catholic church on-campus (it's a catholic uni) - to the Mandarin service at 8.30 am. And I was so lost until I met these Vietnamese people and got off a pinyin sheet of them, and then I improved a little in my understanding. Spent one night going through the dictionary and the sheet - but I still haven't finished going through it personally.

Anyway, writing here makes me feel a bit better now. Hmm....wondering what I should do now. I still haven't started packing all my junk. Maybe I should finish watching this Mandarin-dubbed HK Andy Lau movie? That'll take awhile. Write some thank you notes perhaps. Think what I'm going to do tomorrow - last minute stuff especially.

It's also half past one in the morning and I want to wake up for my last church service tomorrow.

Ok i'm outta here...

Taiwan - 3

sighh....the typhoon hardly even hit Taipei today. That's what I think.

So, we had class. It was raining on and off all day but nothing exciting or anything.

So, in the afternoon a couple of hours after lunch, some of us caught the bus and MRT to the Chiang Kai-Shek Memorial Hall. He's one of Taiwan's past great leaders. It was raining unfortunately but we had a good time and managed to catch the guards marching in front of his huge statue figure. About 6 guards, all in sync, and so skillful (for eg. twirling their rifles with just one hand).

Chiang Khai-Shek Memorial Hall

Inside the Hall

My Taiwanese friends didn't really want to go there with us but of course encouraged us to visit it. To them, it is like what the outside of the Opera House is to locals in Sydney.

Well, after that, we went somewhere else to do other stuff.

Yippee- it's the weeekend now!!!! =D I can finally sleep in.

Taiwan - 2

The 台风 (Typhoon) is hitting Taiwan!! And because of that, our field trip to the Eastern part of Taiwan tomorrow and Saturday has been postponed to next week. Coz that's the part that is supposedly being hit first by the typhoon - tonight! I'm really looking forward to going there after hearing how really nice it is from a few Taiwanese people so I really REALLY hope we actually get to go there next week!! Typhoon, please go away!!

My first typhoon experience - but it's probably going to be just raining and the wind howling like it was last night. The rain isn't that heavy and the temperature is not cold. But if it gets worse, then I might not have class tomorrow. That would of course feel like good news to me when I wake up in the morning. But I'd rather the weather be hot hot hot like it was last week coz at least we can go out and do stuff.

Have I mentioned how many dogs there are loitering along the streets? Major street, small street, in the university grounds and even in front of my dormitory building! This dog slowly walks into Watson's (a shop that sells things chemists sell -except the drugs) and sits down on the floor in front of some shelves and goes to sleep. The salesgirl didn't even shoo it out. Wow, dogs are allowed to come in? I think the dog came in for the air-conditioning.

Some stuff we got up to besides our usual Mandarin classes.

We had a couple of days of learning a little bit of chinese calligraphy! Some of us have done it before but it was my first time. I write not that great but it was fun!

Our school took us to the National Palace Museum. It's supposed to be up there with the other top museums in the world like the Louvre in Paris and the museums in London and NYC.

Our calligraphy teacher, who is so nice and outgoing and says funny things, took us out to Danshui which is up north in Taipei, next to the water. She told us "don't stand me up ah!". She brought her husband, whom she told us in class - is "very funny man" and some of her other young young students. They were so nice - treated us to dinner and some other small foods. And we're having another "date" next Saturday just before we leave.

Catherine, me and my roommate, Robyn

Taiwan - 1

It's the ending of my 4th day in Taiwan, 2nd out of 15 days of Mandarin classes. Feels like I've been here awhile because I think I've done a number of things and hanging out with my other study tour mates has been so great. There are 9 of us, actually 10 but the guy flew home yesterday. I hope he's really okay. I sat next to him on the plane and I never thought it would turn out like this.

Mandarin skills are improving slowly I suppose. It was a struggle talking about technical stuff....like whether it is better to buy a SIM card or phone card? what are the options? I even went to the catholic church service on Sunday coz I wanted to walk around the campus and see what it was like. Attended the 8.30 am Mandarin service. I didn't realise till later that there would be English services after that! It was a good experience even though I didn't understand most of what was being said except when we read in their bible "and Jesus said" and bits of the eucharist. Thank God for this nice girl whom I sat next to even though I was trying my best to understand her.

I hate the traffic here. Scooters and motorcycles are crazy and tooooo many. Like swarms of flies on the road. The cars and other vehicles don't even follow the road lines even in busy parts of Taipei. Malaysian driving is crazy but definitely not as crazy as this. I nearly got knocked down by this motorbike as I was getting off the bus as I didn't look left. The motorcyclist called me some name but I couldn't hear it. But then the next day I realised that that stupid man was coming in the opposite direction to oncoming traffic!! (If u didn't know, people drive on the right hand side here)

Ok i'm not mad even though I may appear to be from the way I write. I'm really having a great time!! My brain is a bit tired now....just studied quite a bit. Write more next time.

And yeah, it's true about the toilets. And there is no toilet paper!! Just like Malaysia I suppose. I'm getting used to it.

Taipei 101 (current tallest building in the world)

Just checking out some facts about Taiwan

Check out these facts about Taiwan courtesy from www.lonelyplanet.com.

Population (and land area in brackets):

Taiwan: 22.5 mil (35,563 sq km)

Australia : 19.5 mil (7,680,000 sq km)

Malaysia: 23 mil (329,750 sq km)

Woww...Taiwan really has a lot of people, huh?

My friend told me something about Taiwanese toilets which I found pretty disgusting. You can't throw the toilet paper you've used into the toilet bowl. Instead there's a bin next to the toilet bowl where you can. Reason? Something to do with the inability of the toilet system to flush the toilet paper down. Could clog the system.

*eww* Let's see if this is true.