Taiwan - 4

It's my last night here in Taiwan =( July22, Saturday night as I write this.

so quick quick quick!!!

I've really really enjoyed my time here in Taiwan, it's like another part of my life, another short phase. And I really like it how it was not just a holiday and seeing a whole new place and all, but I got to learn Mandarin and other Taiwanese culture stuff and also develop new friendships. I wished I could have stayed another week or a few more weeks or something. But reality is, money will run out here and back in Sydney.

I should be really thankful for this opportunity. At the moment, my heart feels a bit heavy....sounds a bit off-key, but anyway, i don't know how else to describe it. Not the fact that I won't be in this room anymore tomorrow night at this time. Our calligraphy teacher and her husband took us to her mom's place an hour away out of Taipei today and we had so much fun there singing Karaoke and going out to see the lotus flowers and crabs and then coming back to have a great dinner her brother prepared for us. It was fantastic. I wanted to go meet my friend as well in the evening coz she was going to show me where she volunteers every Saturday evening at an Internet helpline centre. I really really really wanted to go see it. Thought I would have enough time, but no, there wasn't. Hopefully, I can see my friend tomorrow. She's my coursemate's best friend and she has been so nice and so patient with me, she's like a great big sister. I've met up with her every week! Learnt so much from her, not just coz we have to communicate in mandarin but from who she is and her life and work. Yesterday, she took me up to see the university she went to, which is up the mountains and to have dinner around that area and then followed her to pick her brother up. Her brother is autistic and she is truly such a good sister. She's also a social worker with kids and she studied Chinese culture as well, so she's really good at Chinese. She explains so well and patiently in Mandarin when I keep on asking her my questions in my childish mandarin way - what is this, what is that, what do u mean...sometimes using wrong tones. And she listens when i try my best to tell her a whole heap of things that I've been up to and experienced in Taiwan and other things. I decided the only way to improve was to keep on finding things to say and ask and to listen and at the same time, to study my Mandarin textbook to improve my vocabulary! I'm still pretty crap.

So, yeah i wished I could have gone to see her voluntary work thing. But being in my room now, with my roommate having left yesterday (I really enjoyed spending time with her too), had some negative thoughts forming in my head, 100% non-Taiwan related. Stupid feelings that make me feel like my life is worthless to some people and other stupid stuff. I try to think about stuff my really "whatever" friend told me or when I meet some people and the kind of people they are. Even like, my Taiwanese friend's workmate who is so friendly and talkative and funny! She taught me while we were on the MRT on how the Chinese Bible she has (New Testament) works. I've kinda forgotten most of the things she told me now. I've been going to this Catholic church on-campus (it's a catholic uni) - to the Mandarin service at 8.30 am. And I was so lost until I met these Vietnamese people and got off a pinyin sheet of them, and then I improved a little in my understanding. Spent one night going through the dictionary and the sheet - but I still haven't finished going through it personally.

Anyway, writing here makes me feel a bit better now. Hmm....wondering what I should do now. I still haven't started packing all my junk. Maybe I should finish watching this Mandarin-dubbed HK Andy Lau movie? That'll take awhile. Write some thank you notes perhaps. Think what I'm going to do tomorrow - last minute stuff especially.

It's also half past one in the morning and I want to wake up for my last church service tomorrow.

Ok i'm outta here...